I Eta Pi

Letters to Santa, 2009

2009-12-26T10:37:00.003-06:00

Letters to Santa 2009

3-5 year olds..transcribed by adults.

Dear Santa,
I have been giant good! I play outside on my 4-wheeler and I love mommy, daddy, my sister, and brothers. I am wanting a shirt that says Christmas Happy and a thing that makes strawberry candy. I am wanting a little HHR car that I can drive. I want a kid map with a marker that you can use so you know where to go. Grandma has been good to me. She loves me and takes good care of me. She needs help with the yard to fill up the holes so she won't fall in them again. Papaw has been a little bit good. He mows the yard even though his back hurts. He needs stuff from the Dollar Store and Evansville Wal-Mart. Tell Rudolph Hi for me!

Dear Santa,
My name is Lauren and I have been a good girl. I ate all my cereal and then wanted more! I would like to have a pink bike that goes boing boing boing. I want an instrument piano. For my mom I want her to get a toaster, and bring my dad a blue car. I will leave you some raisin muffins and milk.

Dear Santa,
My name is Luke and I want EVERYTHING - I mean every toy! I want a Lego city and a construction city. Please bring my mommy clothes and shoes. Daddy wants three new bikes. I will leave you chocolate chip brownies and milk! I just can't WAIT!!!!

Dear Santa, I have been a good girl because I have been cheery. I help my mom clean the whole house and I am nice to my friends at school. This year I want Barbie and the Three Musketeers toy and movie. I want a cat machine that makes toy cats and toy dolls. I want a new Strawberry Shortcake notebook to draw in and I want a new pink and blue bike because I like lots of colors. My mom has been good. She tells me to clean up my toys sometimes and she cleans the house around for us. Bring her a karaoke machine because she sounds good on it and ours doesn't turn on anymore. My daddy has been good too. Sometimes he cleans up our toys for us. Bring him a golf set because he loves golf!!!!!! Tori has been good. She needs pajamas, gymanastic suits and books- lots of them! I will leave you gingerbread cookies (if we get to buy gingerbread before Christmas. We already have the cookie cutter for it).

Dear Santa,
I have been a good boy! I eat all my mac and cheese. I got to bed at bedtime. I want Bumblebee and a robot that moves from Transformers. I want building blocks and a tent for outside and a Spongebob fishing pole. My mommy has been good. She makes mac and cheese. Bring her a snowman backpack. My daddy has been good. He fishes with me. Bring him a new fishing pole. I will leave you some mac and cheese at my house.

Dear Santa,
I have been a good boy. I want a chugga chugga phone, cars, trucks, choo choo trains and some pants. Bring mommy a doll ring from daddy and a yellow phone so we can play and be happy. Bring daddy a big phone and a big semi so he can drive me around and talk.

Dear Santa,
I have been a good boy this a good boy this year. I play X box and I clean my room alone. Please bring me a Transformer buddy. I want all the transformers. I want some building blocks like I have at school and I want a fish tank that has a shark and a lantern fish in it. They would be nice to each other. I want a big pond too. Emma has been good. She helps me brush my teeth. Bring her a Bratz doll. Christian has been good. He helps me in the bathroom to be safe. Bring him clothes because he's almost out. Logan has been good. Sometimes he bites but he's little. Bring him a baby toy. Mommy has been a good mommy. Bring her a big bowl of macaroni and cheese. My daddy has been good too. Bring him clothes, like Christian gets.

Dear Santa,
I have been a good boy. I am nice and I share. I want a GI Joe suit and mask and binoculars. I want a bumblebee suit and mask too. I want a wooden bow and arrow and a gun that shoots animals. I want a real camera and a real phone so I can call pawpaw. I want three books too. My mommy has been a good mommy. She takes care of me and Coy. Bring her batteries for stuff cause we never have any for the walkie talkies. Dustin has been good. He took me to work one time and I liked it. Bring him some four wheeler batteries and new pants because sometimes we go places and his pants were old. One time his pants were outside cause he wore them to work and they got dirty. Coy needs new art stuff. We both need it because we're almost out and we always share. I love you Santa!

Dear Santa,
All I want for Christmas is Barbie and butterflies. Thanks!!

Strange requests/statements from this age group:

Bring mommy a car with booms on it and number cause I want mommy to have one. Bring daddy a derby car with numbers and fire booms so daddy can run in the derby.

Bring Madison a new black bike helmet because her head is too big for her old one.

Bring Alena lots of new movies with a man and aliens on a planet with astronauts.

I would like some pretties for my room.

I want a fun real pet (a wolf).

I seen you at my little school before!

Bring a red bike for Chi Chi.

I will leave a napkin for your mouth.

1st grade and up: when kids write their own letters.

Dear Santa,
I bin good. My dad wats a bas bot. My mom wats a car. My sis wat a bic. I wut a go bot.

Dear Santa,
I have bineen good. I wont a monstr truck. Kanaan wonts a Grav digr. Mom wonts to go to Disne wrld. Dad wonts to go to Nascar rasis.

Dear Santa,
I hav bin good. I wont a aksh figr Santa. Dad wns a tol book. Mom wns a jolye box. Haley neds her windo fexed. Kalena needs a book. I wat to be yor BFF.

Dear Santa,
I love you Santa vere much. I no ther is a lot of wrck how do you fell. My sestr wants a baby dolly and my brother wants a batgon. Amd my mom wants a hug from Santa and I want a batgon.

Dear Santa,
Is Rudolph real? May I please have a DS, a Taylor Swift shirt, and a Taylor Swift CD, but not Crossroads because I already have it? Will you bring mom a bag of gold? Would you please bring Christian a bag of coal?

Dear Santa,
Is it really really really cold in the North Pole? There are some things I want for Christmas, but I can't decide what I want. I think I want a PSP and maybe a DS and a riful. I think you should buy some clothes for the people in Iraq. Thank you for the PSP and the DS and the riful.

Dear Santa,
Can you put a lot of candy in my stocking? A real live parrot is what I really want please. I will also need a cage and a new house for the parrot. Another thing, a live bobcat for my dad pretty please.

Dear Santa,
Was I a good boy this year? All I want this year are life sized dinosaur toys, life sized ptaradacktal toysm and life sized swimming reptial toys. Do you have a brother or sister? Do you have kids?

Dear Santa,
When were you born? May I have a gold watch because my other one is brocke?
Can I have diamonds because I don't have any? Please buy my dad cowboy boots because he likes them?

Dear Kris Kringle,
I wants the movie Veggies Tales: A Story of Joyful Giving. I want Mrs. Stewart to remember to say the pledge. I want everybody to have a great Christmas. I want everyone to keep Christ in Christmas. Please may I have all of these?

Dear Santa,
How are you? I'm fine. For Christmas, I want the book "If I Could Talk." My sister wants a new DS game. My puppy Sandy hasn't been too good this year, she stole a turkey and tore up three pillows. If you do bring her anything, I'm sure she'd be satisfied with a bone, ball or something to chew on. My other dog Scout would be happy with a new bone or a pillow because Sandy chewed up his old pillow.

Strange Requests/Statements/Questions:

I like the presents you brang to me last year.

My brother in Kenya has nothing to do, get him food to eat. Get him a movie.

My mom want a good famule.

My dad wont a best day ever.

Please bring me some Hannah Montana clothes but not with her face on it.

I wont to take my class to Pizza Hut for Christmas.

You are a man Santa.

Please bring my mom peds and colm.

Can you give my friends some pickles?

Most of all, $1,000,000 and a diamond ring?

How long is your bered?

Do you like win peple sing about you?

Please bring my grandpa a hot wheels car taxi to replace the one I broke.

Can you get me some ear muffs so I can put them on wen people are annoying.

Thank you for giving us toys on God's birthday.

Dear Children of Edwards and White Counties, Illinois:

I hop Satna brot you everythun you evur wantd.

Keep this song in your Mason jars

2009-09-22T19:17:00.006-05:00

Darling young ones. I just wrote about this song on mine and Nathan's blog. I noted that it does make me feel like I'm home, but I didn't explain that that is because it reminds me of you, The Six Girls with Whom I Share a Pickle.

It sounds like something we would dance to in Housewood's living room late on an autumn night. But even more telling, it mentions Mason jars, which are so us.
That post-grad Club Mix I've been promising? It was just waiting for this song.

Relief Upon Homecoming Leads Young Woman to Behave Oddly

2009-08-10T12:17:00.003-05:00

As many of you know, yesterday I drove back to Tennessee after spending the weekend in Arkansas. I got to spend one night each with Jenna and Taylor, and I also got to behold the glorious matrimony of Vincent and Alia Smith-Wagner. (This took place at sunset in a glass chapel in the woods - Alia was a vision, Vince was princely, Hannah was so lovely, and everything was perfect.)

It was a wonderful but exhausting weekend. I was so tired by Sunday that I had to shamefacedly change plans and head straight back to Nashville from LR, rather than going back up to Searcy to see our beloved Lorie and Nathan. I think that, and the knowledge that Jared was probably flying over my head in the opposite direction, added a bit of sadness to my tiredness.

At the end of a long and strange drive, during which a bored young guy in a back seat had wriggled around to grin and blow me a kiss as his car slowly passed by, I was starved. All I wanted was evening breakfast at Fido. So as Nashville drew near, I called JoJo, my coffee-excursion pal, to see if she wanted to join me. She said she did, so after that I called Fido (I had put their number in my phone some weeks ago for just such an occasion) and asked the all-important question: whether they were still serving breakfast.

"Fido, this is Brandon."

"Hi, I was wondering if you guys are still serving breakfast at this time," I chirped. I was so excited at the concept I could barely contain myself.

"Yes, we serve breakfast, lunch, and dinner all day for as long as the kitchen is open," he said. I think I was going for something like, That's why Fido is great.

But I said, "That's why I love you."

"I love you too, even though I haven't met you," said Brandon.

I laughed and said "See you later!"

So I met JoJo at one of the tables in the back part, and we were shortly joined by Johnna. On my way in, I had decided not to try to find out which employee was Brandon. None of them were wearing nametages, and I certainly was not going to ask. After dinner we were still talking and I was waiting for a barista to call my name for the Chocolate Chai I had ordered. We were regaling one another with tales when I realized I had quite a funny string of random-boy interactions from the drive home, so I was telling them the stories I have recounted above.

I had just finished the one about my phone call to Fido, when a boy in Fido garb walked up to our table and said, "Mary?"

A little embarrassed that he had overheard, I said, "Yeah - Brandon?"

He gave me a funny look, and said, "Yes, but - how do you know... ?" and I noticed the coffee cup in his hand and realized that he had not, after all, overheard my story. JoJo and Johnna failed to stifle their incredulous laughter and I barely held it together enough to try to explain.

"Um, I was just telling them the story of how I said I love you to some guy named Brandon here on the phone earlier... and I thought you must have overheard." Though why I thought he'd know my name is inexplicable.

"Oh! That was you. No, I was just bringing this drink - they've been calling your name for a few minutes now." He looked mildly amused. The girls were falling apart across the table, and I knew my face was bright red. "Well, I still love you, and I always will," he said as he handed me my drink.

It was several minutes before any of us at the table could go back to normal breathing patterns.

I think you all should know

2008-11-20T21:15:00.003-06:00

I just finished relating this tale of truth to our Jenna, in my living room, by fireside. Upon completion, we decided that it was an event befitting of a new blog post. So, for those of you who don't know....

I have officially entered the "real world" of work. Each morning I awake and put on my "business casual attire" and head to the office. I park in the corporately large parking lot and make the trek towards the building. I sift through my purse and pull out my badge prior to reaching the entrance. I scan my badge into the electronic lock and precede to open the door. I head up the three flights of stairs, possibly exchanging pleasantries with one of the thousands of people employed on our campus. Finally, I arrive at the audit room. The room is filled with desks often piled with papers containing varying amounts of important information, and typically one or two other people, as I am usually one of the first there. I begin to set up my laptop for the day as I discuss the prior evening's events with Kristen. The morning is off to an ideal start. As the day goes on, the others filter in, and similar conversations are held. We work and travel around the office and the campus gathering important information about the fair presentation of the company's financial statements. Its all in a day's work.

Among the analyzing and researching and documenting, there is time for fun. Seth and I are becoming pros at my throwing M&Ms, or other edibles of the sort, and his catching them in his mouth. And on occasion, I care for the ill in the office, and paper airplanes soar through the room. Further, as the days go on, we inevitably have someone new in the office for a stay. After being there a day or two, they will typically stop while passing my desk and read aloud the sign posted above. "Sorry for cussing, Taylor!" it says in a rather large, bold font. And this sign is the source of my tale.

During my second week in the Little Rock office, Jamal, the senior on the engagement suddenly and rather inexplicably began to feel great remorse for his less than tasteful language paraded in front of my ears multiple times each day. For a fleeting moment, this was going to inspire him to break this habit. However, as 24 hours passed, this became a far too daunting task. As the guilt remained but the will faded, he replaced this well- intentioned attempt at habit reformation with a recurring apology for his indiscretions. As conversations were carried on within my earshot, and curse words were included, he would insert a "Sorry for cussing, Taylor" and continue with the aforementioned conversations. As this initiative spread, the majority of the office was taking moments out of most conversations to apologize to me. Finally, they realized this was far too cumbersome to keep up. Upon this realization, Seth developed the sign. It is now posted above my desk, littered with signatures from my coworkers. Yes, it is the standing apology to me for the foul language utilized in daily conversation. And as the out-of-towners hear the tale, they frequently pull out a pen, and the rest is history.

Suggested Baby Names

2008-07-19T17:42:00.004-05:00

For Jenna's children:

Rasputin Ronty

Boris Guy

("Boris," orig. Slavic. "Battle," "Fight")

Olga Porcupine

Josef Agnes

Mona Lee

("Mona," orig. Gaelic. "Little Noble One")

JoJo's:

BooBoo Mordecai

("Mordecai," orig. Hebrew. "Little Man," "Worshipper of Marduk")

Paul Paul

("Paul," orig. Latin. "Small," "Humble") ("Paul," orig. Latin. "Small," "Humble")

Johnna's:

Mississippi Wauna

("Wauna," orig. Native American. "Singing Snow Goose")

Magnar Rahiq Elsa

("Magnar," orig. Polish. "Northern Might") ("Rahiq," Arabic, "Best Wine") ("Elsa," orig. Hebrew. "My God is a Vow.")

Rachel:

Chuckie

("Chuckie," orig. German. "Free Man.")

Mulan

("Mulan," orig. Chinese. "Wood Orchid.")

Molly:

Fatima

("Fatima," orig. Arabic. "Abstinence," "Daughter of the Prophet")

Habib Hanson

("Habib," orig. Arabic. "Beloved One.") ("Hanson," orig. English. "Son of Han.")

Taylor:

Cupcake Taxes

Andrea:

Ziggy Ray-ban

("Ziggy," orig. German. A diminutive form of Sigmund.)

Mary:

Chocolate Fern

Rayna Understanding

Me:

JoJo Elliott

All Tomorrow's Parties

2008-05-07T13:38:00.005-05:00

We've had the best parties at Harding.

In the past two weeks, we've had a beautiful India formal and attended a magical Middle Earth party. In October we had Rock Star Halloween. Last spring we had the first of two I Eta Pi formals at Housewood.

Housewood (Ashley, Jo Jo and Andrea's house) is key. Without Housewood, there would be no glorious backyard to transform into a dance floor or a rock museum or India.

We started the tradition of great parties when we were freshmen. It was Jo Jo's birthday, and we christened the new Honors College house and it's retro turquoise kitchen with a tea party. We wore fancy dresses and were very ladylike.

See more tea party photos here and here.

From then on, I Eta Pi parties took on a life of their own. We pretty much stopped joking about/comparing them to actual social club functions, because there was no comparison. We had Club cookouts and camp outs and music nights and other small gatherings that usually involved a lot of singing and playing around fires and dancing.

When we hosted our first of only two end of the year "formals," Ben Lamb was already touting us as "The best fake social club on campus," but I think the formal sealed the deal. We sent out official, hand crafted invitations and pretty much turned Housewood inside out to turn the backyard into the prettiest soiree setting to date.

Housewood's back yard has never looked so fancy.

Just about everyone we knew and loved was there.

Look at more I Eta Pi Club Formal 2007 pictures here and here.

In October, everyone dressed up for Rock Star Halloween and came to Housewood, where there were guitars hanging from the trees.

See more rock stars here and here.

At Christmas, we went to a feast at the Farm that Mary helped organize. In addition to more food than we could handle, the feast involved after-dinner entertainment in which some guests took turns reading festive excerpts in the spirit of the holiday season. I read a lot from David Sedaris's Holidays on Ice.

This year we went with an India theme for the formal. Ashley bought henna to decorate all our friends, and we made heaps of naan and curry and rice to snack on. Jo Jo sewed a tent together and hung it from a tree, then Jenna topped it off with the globe lamp. It was Ashley's henna house.

A lot of the girls danced to the Darjeeling Limited soundtracks and other Indian music. We also enjoyed good food and company and learned the basics of Flat Back Tai Chi © .

Everyone looked great. I think Susanna Smith, our local India expert, outfitted many guests in authentic saris from her travels in the East.

We had some very creative costumes. Not everyone was a native.
Ben Lamb was fresh off a plane from Italy, suited to explore the land of spices that Housewood had become. Michael Wright came as a Catholic missionary, praying for heathens who were praying to each other, it appears.

We called it the Danshik Formal. Danshik sounds like "dancing" which may be why we voted it the winner, but from what I gather from the Indian restaurant menu where I found it, it actually means "with pineapple." More pictures here and here.

That was the last official party at Housewood, save for our upcoming graduation/farewell family potluck scheduled for Friday. Costumes not required.

The Club members are not the only party people at Harding. We've been the guests at plenty of events we can't take credit for planning. Ben Garner has hosted some smashing celebrations lately. He threw a Christmas party at his house where every one looked so classy sipping cider and caroling around the piano.

This weekend he threw a party at the Garner's farm in Rosebud. Even before he mailed out invitations, we knew it was going to be a Lord of the Rings party. Everyone dressed as hobbits or elves, even an ent lumbered into Hobbiton. There was a sack race; giant barrels of root beer; lively dancing; a full-course dinner; a slide show recapping, among other things, many of our parties over the last four years; and a finale of fireworks. Bilbo Garner even pulled off a disappearing act after reciting a modified version of the hobbit's party speech.
More pictures here and here.

Tolkien would have been impressed.

In conclusion, a quote from an e-mail one of Johnna's library bosses sent her after the Danshik:
"If I Eta Pi were an official organization, I would SO volunteer to be your sponsor. I absolutely LOVE seeing the pictures that y'all post from your soirées. You have to be some of the most creative and wonderful girls on this campus."

2008-03-07T00:14:00.019-06:00

Spring Break has been a bit different for Taylor and I this year.

We've been dealing with pretty extreme amounts of
snow all week.

We were supposed to be on our way back this morning...
but there was a blizzard.

To make good use of our time

we decided to get some homework done.

Unfortunately, our homework did not hold our attention for long.

Our next endeavor was to help Mom deplete her abundant yarn source. Elizabeth made quite a dent and came out with two hats and a scarf.

That was fun... for awhile. We finally realized that since we had so much snow, we should probably go out and enjoy. So... we headed down the stairs, and out the front door. Elizabeth documented this adventure for your viewing pleasure.

We'll be on our way back tomorrow. We can't wait to see all of you. We love and miss you. Call us in the car, we'll be in it for a few days.

Love,
Johnna and Taylor

Been a Long Time Coming

2008-01-26T00:01:00.002-06:00

There has been some grumbling about the lack of new posts. So, to satisfy/occupy us all, here is a new club quiz.
Subject: Childhood Celebrity Crushes
http://www.quizyourfriends.com/takequiz.php?quizname=080126010037-218070&
I've included picture of these lovely gentlemen, in case you're not all familiar with all of them.

Enjoy

Atreyu - Freddie Prinze, Jr

Zach Morris - Taylor Hanson

Orlando Bloom - Tom Cruise

J.T.T. - Brian Bell

JFK, Jr. - Dean Forester

Letters to Santa, 2007

2007-12-19T16:43:00.000-06:00

Here are a few of my favorites from this year's local newspaper.

Dear Santa,
I would like a kitty cat. I would name it Money. Please get mommy a teddy bear. Thank you Santa!!!

Dear Santa,
Thank you for my Ninja Turtle. I would like some dinosaurs and Star Wars action figures. My paw wants a tool belt and Grandma would like a Bible. I will leave you a bowl of pickles.

Dear Santa,
I wunt a big sistr. I would like a digdil camru. I would like sum dog toys for Ruby. This is for Mommom. She wants a tredmel. What does Mrs. Santa Clos look like?

Dear Santa,
Why do you have a big musntoel? I what a red game boy with the games. Thin I wood like a DS. Wood you get my Mom a glas anghl? Be cerfl on you trip Santa.

Dear Santa,
How are you? I want my one tooth I want a doll. I want to give Trihs a bike. You are my friend.

Dear Santa,
Wold you give me five kittens and a pupy. Can you give my baby sister the best second Crismis. Can you give my Mom a very snowy Crismise. Can you give Miss Sheprd the best crismis. Can you give Madison a good crismis. Can you give my dad a modrsikl. Be carfl and be saf Santa. and a mary crismis.

Dear Santa,
How is the randear? I want a astronot sout and a helmet. I want to ship my sister to Alaska.

Dear Santa,
Why do you have a big bag? I what a game boy ples? Can I have a babe ples? Will you get my mom a glas angel? Can you get my dad a fiting game ples? Come to my house ples?

Dear Santa,
Where is the North Pole? I wunt a Bridish soldrise unufom from the Ruvulooshinary war. I wunt a world war one unuform that they use in the winter. I wunt Jeffery and Dad to go to Russu so I can watch tv.

Dear Santa,
How are you? I wish I had toy cars. I wish I had a bag of gold. I wish I had my toouth back. I wish I had a big sord. I wish I had sopre pows. Have a good day.

Dear Santa,
Why are you fat? I want a wii. Next, a eyeclops. Last, a Nintendo DS. Wyh do you have Roothoff?

Dear Santa,
Why do you eat so many coukeas? Would you get me some mony? Would you get me a deer box? Would you get me some typs of boulits? I will trie to get my borther Nat a batman toy.

Dear Santa,
Are your elves doeyn ok? I want a pretty dress. Pless can I have a holl bunt of Bratz dolls and a fuzze cote. I'm gowen to get AJ a fur rell fend leprd.

Dear Santa,
Would you please bring me these things? Please bring me a bow because I can prathest sooting. Secent, please bring me sum erows to prathes shooting. Third, please bring me gutor hirow three so I can plae Rock to the top.

Dear Santa,
Do your reindeer really talk? Wold yoa plese bring me theis things? Frast plese bring a B.B. gnwin so I can shot it. Sicnt plese bring me a Dear stant so I can go up in it. Threed plese bring me turkey bate so I can shoot turkey. Plese bring my Dad a lite pokit nife so he can open anything.

Dear Santa,
How is Rudolph's nose doing? I want the Big Game Hunter, a bb gun, and goats. I will get my baby brother a fake BB gun. I'm going to get my big brother a fake Lincoln.
Love, Lincoln

Dear Santa,
How are you? May I please have a spy kit? Can you get my dad a thirty-five doller gift card? Santa please don't fall this year.

Dear Santa,
I would like a trampoline and a tv. I want a pink ipod too. Can yu please do something for somebudy else? I want you to give them a sticker.

Dear Santa,
Are you real? I want 7000,000,00$ plese. I want a spy car plese. I also want the Earth plese. I am going to by Miss Shelton a 1981 camaro. The End!

Dear Santa,
How do you get a krost the sky. Plese can you make sumthing for Surey, mabe a big scren TV.

Dear Santa,
Are you fat? Are your reideer fat to? I want some Junk mail and I would like a maid to clean up my Junk mail. Could you take over the world with Junk mail? Can I have a movie about Junk mail please. Will you get another dresser for my sister?

Dear Santa,
I would like to know if you have children? I would like to have an ipod, Nintendo DS, and my brothers voice taken out. THe ipod is so when I am going to Chicago I do not have to listen to my brother. My little brother wants tools.

Dear Santa,
I hope you had a grate day. You have a grate winter. I like a game. Bye.

Dear St. Nick,
Haw are you? I'm fine. I got a new cat. It's name is Kitty. I also got a new dog. It's name is ShieShie. My gerbil died on November 11th on a Sunday. All I want for Christmas is a Wii and Jesus to be happy.

Dear Santa,
There is four things I really want. They are Moon Shoes, hamster, and hamster toys for the hamster. Can I have the hamster because I really want a hamster? I'm begging you for a hamster.

Dear Santa,
How many reigndeer do you have again? Oh you you have seven or nine. I hope I find out for sure. What school did you go to? I go to Albion Grade School. It is a very nice place. In front of our school we have a lion and attached to it is a string of lights at the end of that is your sleigh. But the Lion is huge. I hope you stay warm. Your gonna have lots of letters to read all the classes are writeing one to you. My teacher gives out candy sometimes for no reason. Well I hope you have a Berry Merry Christmas.

2007-10-20T15:08:00.000-05:00

Well, girls. It's been a grueling past couple of weeks in a lot ways. And on top of everything, the brand new Club Bike was stolen, along with my own beloved Eurosport bike.

I post this in loving memory...

Molly found Ross, a red vintage Eurosport bike, in the summer of 2007. She immediately fell for Ross' shiny paint job, quilted vinyl seat with springs, and the useful tray over the back wheel. It was meant to be. For only $5, Ross rode to his new home from that hot Indianapolis garage sale.

Molly spent a few extra dollars on new brake pads and some turtle wax, a small price to pay for the bike that would bring so much extra joy and speed and pedaling to
summertime.

When autumn came, the bike rode in the back of the car to Harding, and Molly was free to sleep in a bit later and still make it to chapel on time. And Ross the Eurosport was a faithful companion, patiently waiting on her during classes, work and visits to Midnight Oil or Letty's.

In early October, Ross was introduced to another $5 bike Molly had found in someones yard, this one turquoise, one of I Eta Pi's club colors, and intended to be shared and cared for by the six other ladies who write here. The two bicycles spent just a few happy evenings together propped up by the same bike rack, but locked only to each other by the blue chain, which was too short to lock both of them to the stand. A second lock was on it's way, just for the Club Bike, but alas, that never came to be.

Less than a week after the arrival of the Club Bike, Molly found herself running late to her morning class, and thought to herself how lucky she was that the Eurosport would be there to help her out again. Racing down two flights of stairs and bursting out the back door of her dorm beside the bike rack, she saw Jenna's bike and the bike that some girl never ever uses (if she only knew how good it could be!), but there was only empty space and bike tracks in the mud where Molly's bikes had parked the night before.

Sometime in the night, someone made off with Siamese bicycles. Either that or they ran away together. Regardless of what had happened, how and why, Molly found herself sad and sorry and late to class for the first time. Now she is walking a lot more, and scanning every crowded bike rack for the Eurosport, and envying every student who bikes past.

Hopefully the bikes are in a better place, with people who needed them even more. Molly has to admit, though, she hopes they had some trouble getting the chain lock off.

2007-09-21T03:53:00.000-05:00

Some of you may remember hearing about (or visiting) a place called the Treehouse.

See, last February Molly's friend Arlo sent her a cd with two bands on it. One was the Shins, who we all know and love, but the other band we were unfamiliar with: Arrah and the Ferns. Molly loved it from the first twangy, rollicking banjo lead. She researched the band online and found that their tour actually included our city. Resourceful as car-less college students have to be, she recruited me, Jenna, Andrea, Johnna, Jo Jo, and Mary to accompany her to this concert. We took Miles, the only club car that holds that many girls.

I was wary from the first, because it was at a venue I had never heard of: "The Treehouse." I asked around, and non of my music people had heard of it either. Nevertheless, we printed off mapquest directions and set off into the increasingly snowy evening.

Two hours later, we were still cruising the dark, barren, one-way streets, and snow was piling up. I rubbed the frosting car window with my sleeve, hoping for a glimpse of an address
number. We were wandering a residential ghost town, and nothing looked remotely like a venue. JoJo and someone else got out to scout, and then returned to the car. Johnna rolled down the window, letting in a blast of freezing air.
"According to this map," said JoJo, waving the printout, "it should be right here." She was pointing at a tumbledown house with a porch, next to an apartment complex.
We all peered at it.
"Wait! There's a sign on the door!" someone said. We all squinted, and someone read the sign out loud.
"It says, 'Door broke- go round back'."

We looked at each other, and then drove to the back. We had found the Treehouse.

A couple of bums were charging three dollars each on the screen back porch, and selling beer out of a cooler. They stamped our hands with one of those animal stamps you use in preschool, and asked our names. Everyone was very nice to us, but they eyed us kind of crazy, like we might look at a bunch of total strangers that showed up at the Warehouse for a Cheyenne show. We were about one third of the crowd. We filed through a hall with a couch full of band merch, through an unfurnished room with local band posters on the wall, and into the main room, which contained nothing but a few weird-looking people with beers and a single couch set right in the middle. The house had nice, hardwood floors and pale walls, and this could have easily been passed off as a cozy, normal living room. But other than the couch, there was very little attempt at normalcy. I felt like I had stepped out of the snow into someone's bizarre subconscious. The room glowed multicolored from Christmas lights strung next to the ceiling, and the walls displayed large construction-paper dye cuts, the kind elementary school teachers use for bulletin boards. We nudged each other-- a yellow eagle, a rabbit, a pink castle... was that a unicorn behind the pimply boy with the spiked mohawk?

"I like your shoes," someone on the couch said to me, too loudly.
I looked down at my sequined flats. "Thanks."
"I want to make sequined underwear!" he stated. A couple of people laughed. "I'm serious!"

Mohawk boy (I swear it was six inches high) tried to poke Molly in the shoulder with his hair. She edged away. Someone suggested that we sit down, and we all settled on the floor, brushing cigarette ash aside. Turned out sequin guy was opening, which involved seating himself on an amp with an acoustic and saying things like, "This is a song about how I was running drugs in my truck back home, and I got pulled over. It's called 'Please No Dogs.' Cause you know what I'm thinking."

Which is when the girl with the androgynous indie haircut and the lip-ring leaned forward earnestly and shouted in a high, girly squeal, "F--- the POlice!"

Opener number two was named Red Bear, a big, snuggly guy with a gap between his front teeth and a scarlet mane of impressive proportions. His songs were along the same lines as the first guy, but pulled off with more finesse.
"This is a song about how the Dark Lord's coming to save us all from Jesus H. Christ! Jesus Hitler Christ!" Some people laughed. We shifted uncomfortably. The song had nothing to do with the intro.
Another one began, "This is a song called, 'I'm Tired and Hungry and Lonely and I'm in Iraq, George W. Bush, God, and Allah All Hate me, and I Want to go Home." Red Bear started and then paused to clear his throat. "I'm sorry, my voice is a little rough."

"The rougher the better!" squealed indie girl.

Red Bear ignored her. "Does anyone have a cough drop?"

"I've got cough drops," someone yelled from the back. "Laced with ACID!" He laughed loudly.

Red Bear got some water and made it through his protest song. While he was retuning the guitar, indie girl thought of something and squealed, "Do you listen to Ani DiFranco?"

He chuckled good-naturedly, "No, but my friends do. Guilty by association, I guess."

A lot of people were smoking pot at this point, and I had a feeling that was really the only reason some of the hardcore/redneck kids were there at all. They had a whole clique in the back, with oversized t-shirts and pointy metal jewelry and slouches and braces and hair gel and acne.

Once Arrah and the Ferns got up, though, we started to feel a lot better. They had been wallflowers the whole first half of the show, the boys silent and sullent, the girl sweetly cradling a bottle of wine. None of them smoked. They shifted the couch out of the way and set up a keyboard and a drumset, and we noted to each other the bizarro world we had entered: the lead girl looked strangely like Katie Wendt, and the banjo player could have easily been mistaken for Brock Williams. The drummer looked like- was it Shelby Beamon?

In the crowd we even spotted an indie Taylor Cloninger in plastic-framed glasses, who came over and sweetly asked us to borrow a hairband. Red Bear was put forth as a bizarro Jo Jo before we were distracted by the music itself, which swept us off the ashy floor and into twirling dances of delight. Bizarro Brock was killing the banjo, wearing it up preciously high on his western embroidered pearl snap shirt, like nerdy boys in high school who wear their backpacks up against their shoulder blades. During the high point of "skylark" he actually laid down on his back, still playing crazy, and spun around like the needle of a compass.

After the show Molly and Jenna bought Red Bear cds and the Arrah and the Ferns album, and somebody got a lemon-yellow Ferns t-shirt. Molly then turned to Mohawk boy (who was high and drunk at the very least by now) and told him politely, "It was very nice to meet you," and we blazed.

But it wasn't till we got in the car that JoJo and I showed everyone our less legit souvenir- a full size yellow die-cut eagle.

Anyway, we saw Androgynous Indie Girl at the Wilco concert the other night, is what made me think, nobody ever wrote that down.

2007-09-06T19:18:00.000-05:00

So, I think you may have all heard snippets about the Nobility show (formerly known as Jetpack UK), but Ashley was the only other Club Representative present at the time. As such is the case, I feel it only right that I now recount you this tale.

As eight o'clock rolled around, cars full of showgoers poured in a steady stream down the gravel path to Warehouse 2156. When I had arrived, and found Connor perched atop his tan tyrannosaur, the cars had been sparse; now they were making up for lost time.

I watched as Megan Stewart, Liz Pippin, and loads of strange cars drove in from where I now sat beside Connor, in front of the large Warehouse 2156 sign on the street corner. Car after car drove by as Connor told me about his day and his fishing trip, and his strategy for teaching me to fish. One pole, he said, so we'd have to take turns, and he wouldn't be distracted as he's teaching me how.

The sound level coming from the pale square building picked up, and we made our way over to the back of the crowd. Connor had responsibilities to attend to; I found myself a nice place in the back with Ashley and a few other friends. Before long we were dancing.

Time was when I would B-line straight for the front of any show I was at; you've got to let the band know they're doing good, you know, and that you're having fun, so that used to be what I always did. But you know, I'm getting old. 22 years and dancing every one--I'll have to slow down before long, and tonight (that night) I was ready to stay in the back.

But then came Liz Pippins, all excitement and jazz, saying to me "Come to the front! Come all dance at the front!" and I thought, I'm a tired out mare, I'll just stay in the back, but I told her I'd ask the others. I could see her disappointment at my hesitance, but I brushed it off--that's not me so much anymore, or not tonight anyway. Where are those energetic freshmen we hear of?
I passed it on to the Back of the Room Dance Troupe, expecting mixed responses and low enthusiasm. But I think every one looked bright-eyed and "okay" they replied and we slipped up through the people and pressed to the front. I caught Liz's eye and gave her a grin, and the dancing began in earnest as the Back Roomers joined the Front.

We danced hard, we danced soft; we danced self consciously (the next row behind us stood solidly), and then with abandon. But we filled our purpose, I think. We had a blast and the band could see it; the keyboardist (Brother Jerkins) even said something like "Wow... Searcy."
Occasionally Connor or the Joshes would come up and dance with us, and a few other boys dipped their feet in. Even the solid row behind us might have bobbed a few times, or been swayed by an unseen breeze.

And Then, at one of those times in between songs when they talk about how they got the idea of the song or something, the main singer (Baby Williams?) says "Now we're gonna need someone to come up here"--indicating a space on the stage--"for this next song and show everyone how they should dance to it," he said, and I thought, with a certain sense of satisfaction and comfort, no way am I volunteering! and I wondered who would go up. But Baby Williams hadn't finished yet: "... and I nominate YOU," he said, and as cheers rose from my proud circle of friends I might have glanced behind me in disbelief. I wasn't exactly delighted... is there a way that I can say no to this? I asked myself. But I knew there wasn't; I climbed up between the black boxes at the front of the stage, and everyone was yelling and I was blushing. Baby Williams still wasn't through, and as I crossed the stage I heard him asking for a boy to come volunteer to join me. Again shouts rose from my friends, this time yelling "Connor! Connor!"

From the stage, I could barely make out the audience, blinded by the lights, but I looked for Connor. Seconds passed and the fear struck me that some Strange Boy might come up; ew, how awkward that would be. I did Not want to dance with a Strange Boy! Hoping that a girl-friend or Connor would respond, I beckoned urgently at the crowd, not wanting to be left on display all alone. The band began to play a slow, "swingy" tune. I nervously tried to see past the lights. Would anyone come?

And then, from around a large speaker he came, bounding up chairs and stairs onto the stage; he headed straight for me, circled me with his arms, and he kissed me right there on stage.

Rescued by Connor McNabb. It is a very pleasant thing, let me tell you.

Obviously, everyone was shouting again, this time mostly wordless whoops. Pretty sure I was grinning like an idiot, and positive that I was blushing like mad; but mostly I was just reveling in the perfection of that moment. We danced to the music and we danced to each other. I think Connor tried to apologize for not "knowing the steps" or something, but the steps were just what we were doing, and I couldn't imagine what he was talking about.

Somehow the song ended and Connor had to go back to taking money at the door. The rest of the night is kind of a blur. After I got back into the audience I received lots of grins, thumbs-up, pats on the back, etc. from friends and strangers alike. But they were ripples on still water; I could feel myself glowing, and I felt like I was floating. I danced all through the show, and I didn't stop dancing for about an hour after the show had ended.

Slowly, life seemed to go back to "normal," but really... that's kind of what normal is for me now.

2007-08-13T07:17:00.000-05:00

Summer Skin

I was babysitting a 3-year-old girl the other day. In the middle of a savory lunch of cold chicken nuggets, she pointed to my shoulders and said, "What are those?"
"Shoulders," I said
"No," she said, pointing quickly all over my shoulders. "What are those?"
"Oh! They're called freckles," I told her.
"I don't like 'em. Take 'em off." Bossy, isn't she?
I tried to explain that I couldn't take them off; they're a part of me. And I thought about how funny it was that as an adopted African American girl in a family of very tan people, she had never really heard of freckles, which have been a constant in my family since before Luke was born a redhead.
Anyway, I've been collecting freckles all summer. I'm sure I'll be too busy to notice as they fade into fall. I can't wait to see you all again. I've missed you all summer.

2007-07-25T12:15:00.000-05:00

Everyone.

JoJo and Betsy and I don't have chapel seats yet, and JoJo felt like we were missing someone that we had promised to sit with. So if anyone is out there with a nine o clock chapel and no seat, I want to hear from you by tomorrow.

Or we're striking out on our own.

2007-07-18T16:00:00.000-05:00

I've Been Everywhere

Hey Club! I meant to write about this two weeks ago when I had just returned to Indy from my first visit to Jenna's house in Illinois. Since none of you are likely to beat me to this post, though, I'll go ahead and announce this now: I am officially the first I Eta Pi member to have visited every other club member's house.

I can't believe it took me four years to get to Jenna's house, since she's my roommate, lives closest to me and I've known her the longest. I finally made it to Albion on July 7 and stayed with her family for the weekend. Contrary to popular belief, Jenna doesn't technically live on the pig farm. She lives right down the street from it. Her dad co-owns it with his brother and father, and other family members help to keep it running. I learned all about the recipe for pig feed, the process of artificial insemination, the differences between a boar and a barrow or a sow and a gilt, and I wore some pointy-toed plastic booties the whole time. They turned out to be a real blessing, but I'll save that story for another time. We also walked down to the farm ponds with the legendary muskrat-swallowing catfish. On the way, we came upon a decaying coyote on the dirt path. Later we learned that one of Jenna's cousins shot it a several days earlier, and he made fun of us for stopping to take pictures of it.

I also bonded with Jenna's family over an exciting viewing of Newsies, which none of them had ever seen before. Her brother said he really liked the song "Santa Fe," and I felt all warm and fuzzy. You know how much I want you all to enjoy my favorite films as much as I do (and how sad I get when you don't. I guess I can't honestly defend My Father the Hero any more, but I still love that Richard Nixon comedy...)

On Saturday we lined up on Main Street with pretty much everyone else in town and watched the Pork Day parade. Everyone in the parade threw candy to the kids waiting with grocery bags on the side. It was like Halloween, without the hassle of costumes, or that one house that's giving out pennies. Unfortunately, there weren't a lot of people our age darting out on the asphalt for Tootsie Rolls. But somewhere between the Pork Day Queen and the clown cars, I gave up on dignity and walked to the curb to scoop up a few sweets for Jenna and me. There was this little girl out there too, her bag already heavy with chocolates and fruit chews, and I could tell there was going to be a rumble when I saw her going for the patch of Tootsie Rolls I was eyeing. As her little fist snatched up candy after candy right out from under me, I yelped, "Nooo!" and reached down in slow motion as she started to go for the last piece of chocolate. The girl looked surprised, and her mom, who had been filling her own bag behind us, turned around just in time to see me retreating with my prize. It was the best Tootsie Roll I have ever chewed. It tasted like chocolate. Chocolate and victory.

After the parade, we went to the town square for the rest of the Pork Day USA celebration. There was a lot of food. Pork burgers, pork chop burgers, BBQ pork burgers, pork rinds, etc. But there were also stands selling fair-food like funnel cake and frozen Snickers bars. Jenna and I sat in the shade and ate lunch while we watched the Little Miss Pork Day competition, which Jenna won 17 years ago. Forty-three girls competed for the title this year, and had to answer simple questions from the hosts, like "Do you have any special talents?" A lot of the girls said dancing, but only a couple actually demonstrated their skills. This one little girl was very quiet and composed as she answered questions, and when they asked her to prove that dancing was in fact her "special talent," she nodded politely and then bang! She just launched into this crazy leg-flinging, arm-waving spectacle! It was the only time I cheered during the contest. She had my vote...

I met some of Jenna's Illinois friends from high school later that night. Adam, Amanda and Kate. We watched Zoolander and talked for hours. The next afternoon, Jenna and I reenacted the movie's gas pump party scene (see photo).

After church Sunday, I got to meet many more of Teddy Roosevelt's descendants at Jenna's family reunion. Between eating and family announcements, there were musical performances by some family members. Jenna and her brother Daniel played accordion and guitar together. Her sister Jordan played the piano, and Jenna and her grandmother played another duet on harmonicas. It was beautiful. I could not have picked a better weekend to visit the Last Club House.

* * *

Here are some memories from the rest of your homes:

Ashley, Nashville, Tenn. - I was so excited when my parents were completely game for a side trip to Ashley's house last winter. We had just visited my cousins in Clarksville, Tenn., and we weren't far from her place. We met Ashley in Franklin and she showed us around the fancy, artsy shops before taking us back to her house in Spring Hill for dinner with her parents and Taylor. She'd just gotten back from Italy, so it was a pretty great reunion. Ashley's room was very green, and she showed me old drawings and writings from her childhood. She had this picture of some horses she'd imagined and named. One of them was called "Brighty Lass," which I remember thinking was a really funny thing. Also, the room upstairs had been converted into a beautiful art studio for Aletha, and we admired all her paintings and photos for a while. Mom told her if she ever wants to show in the burgeoning art scene that is Indianapolis, she will have a place to stay. Before we left later that evening, Ashley showed me their cabinet of natural curiosities. Bird bones, nests, shells, fish eggs... It was marvelous.

Johnna, Québec - We visited Johnna and her parents in Québec after our trip to Maine at the beginning of summer. They gave us the express 2-day tour of their fair city, introducing us to Québécois food courts, poutine and Undercover Blues. We also had an official Québécois dinner, similar to the one Johnna slaved over last semester. That was the night our fathers lost it, and my dad started recapping some weird sci-fi movie plot over supper and Johnna's dad got really into it. We were all pretty much best friends from that point on. Johnna and I slept in her bed, and stayed up late one night having a very funny conversation about the nuns who live in her back yard. It's probably for the best that I was too sleepy to remember exactly what we said.
We also went on a long hike through some beautiful Canadian forest, and I helped Johnna gather birch bark.

I think her old Iowa home should count for bonus points, especially if you also eat at Kalen's parent's Chinese restaurant. I think Mary is the only one who can claim those points right now.

Jo Jo, Marietta, Ga. - I wish I had gone to Atlanta under better circumstances last October, but all things
considered, it was really a pretty alright trip. Jo Jo's room was the only one not entirely charred or destroyed by the fire, but we had to climb up a ladder and through a window to get in. The glow-in-the-dark stars she'd had on her yellow walls had curled up in the heat, and a blanket on her bedroom floor had sprouted grass. There was a box of crayons on the floor that were in mint condition, though.

I was inspired by how calm and composed she and her family seemed about the whole thing. We stayed at her friend Bren's house, and I got to meet a lot of her other friends and family too. Before we left Georgia, Jo Jo bought me a Frosted Orange at famous ATL diner, The Varsity. And, true to an unfortunate I Eta Pi road trip tradition, I got pulled over in the wee hours for a minor traffic infraction.

Mary, Vero Beach, Fla. - All you girls were there, so I can't tell you much you didn't experience too. I loved the car ride there. I bonded with Betsy over scrapbooking in the backseat, and we attempted prank phone calls that led to the Sarah Pumpernickel incident. Many of us took turns driving and sleeping until we finally got to Florida and stopped at a Waffle House for breakfast in the blue morning light. And I loved dancing in Mary's living room to spring break mixes, and taking dance lessons from her indescribably cool sister, Michelle. And Mary's parents were so good to us, baking cookies and playing games with us, when we already thought the world of them just for letting all of us crash on their floor.

I bought some hideous boogie boards at Wal-Mart and I think Taylor loved them more than anyone. It was Johnna's first time in the ocean, and she eventually jumped right in, loving it so much that I thought she might never come out, despite the threat of invisible jelly fish and sharks. We were covered in sand all week and made Cheyenne's "Rubik's Cube" and "Ain't Time" our anthems. On the drive home, we all wore the green shamrock glasses Jo Jo's mom gave us during our quick stop in Miami, and Starbucks gave us free green frappuccino samples.

Taylor, Cabot, Ark. - I think we've probably all been to Taylor's house the most. Her mom usually cooks something fantastic, like strawberry pizza or enchiladas or mocha punch. And even though Taylor is probably the club member least likely to do something embarrassing, I think most of the awkward club house experiences have been at her place. I think she still blushes if someone mentions the home videos we watched of baby Taylor. I also laugh when I remember one dinner discussion when someone asked Taylor's mom if peaches were a fruit of the spirit.

Rachel, Russellville, Ark. - Rachel's house can count for bonus points too, since she was a founding of I Eta Pi. It was at her house that I made some of you watch My Father the Hero, saying it was one of my favorite childhood films. But, like Three Ninjas, it just wasn't as good more than ten years later. And her dad cut my hair in their back yard one night.

* * *

So far Jenna, Johnna, Taylor and Jo Jo have been to visit me in Indy. Ashley and Mary, I hope you guys will make it up here very soon. Very. I miss you all, though, so feel free to revisit. Good luck collecting club homes for yourself!

2007-06-18T20:27:00.000-05:00

Dear Grils:

I am writing to you from Sunny Vero Beach. The weather outside is anything but frightful; yesterday, Karen and I enjoyed it at the Aquarius beach that you are all so familiar with. Just for the record, even though at the time I was quite decided on the issue, I would like you all to know that I now regret my behavior on that SB nighttime excursion, which looked to me like so many unicorns riding in on the seafoam. Occasionally, I can really be a stubborn prig.

As you can imagine, we've been watching a lot of Star Trek (Voyager), and my mother is out of town so we've been v. irresponsible and messy. However, perhaps in reaction to Mother's absence, I think that I've cleaned 3 toilets in the last 2 weeks, of my own volition (one twice and the other once, we only have 2). That may also have something to do with the fancy new toilet bowl cleaner I've bought . . . I know this is just getting weirder and weirder.

My current life is full of strange adventures. After the beach and Quik Snak yesterday, I met Michelle at the Duerr's and we all tie-dyed clothes for a couple of hours. I'd never done it before, and it was pretty amazing. I'd bought a 5-pack of V-necks for Connor, Sam, Josh B, Brian, and Myself... I know, it was a risky move, but I felt like taking the safe route of a crew neck would've been a cop out.

These are a few of the Tie-Dying Methods that we employed:

1. Let shirt dangle from the edge of a sleeve and start twisting from there, all the way down. Once twisted, fold in half and tie in sections. Dye different colors within each of the boundaries of the strings. This creates some kind of Diagonal Pattern: \ \ \ \ \

2. Pinch a spot in the center of the shirt and let it dangle from there. Twist and tie bands every few inches down the length of it. Dye the segments. Creates a Sunburst Pattern ( ( ( O ) ) )

3. Twist shirt and coil tightly. Use string to tie into at least four segments. Dye segments. (Not Yet Sure what this produces)

4. Pinch a spot in the center of the shirt and slide it between two tines of a large wooden fork (a special tie-dye fork? or just a salad fork? I wasn't sure). Twist fork and ease shirt along to make it spiral tightly. Tie in quarters or more as above, and dye segments, either freeform or dying the opposing segments to match.

The turquoise dye has to sit the longest at 24 hours, so we're just leaving everything to sit that long. I don't know what the proceedure is when the time is up, but I think Kathy Duerr is going to do whatever it is. I hope I didn't ruin them all.

In other news, Joe Patteson and Carson Medders both went to Bonnaroo but didn't know to meet- tragic! But I think you will all meet at least one of my brothers this year . . . I might get a visit. And I'm working on getting Joe to come to Bean Fest '07!

Here's a brief wrap up of my news:
1. Whilst babysitting last Sat., I found my soul's Tree.
2. Last night Karen, Meredith and I did some serious rocking out to a Backstreet Boys CD played Very loudly- and then we watched Little Women, which I had never seen.
3. I am leaving Vero at about 4:30 on Thursday morning to make a 7:00 flight to San Antonio, my true love for to see.

However, the lousy part of my summer is that I am So Terribly Far from Johnna

and Tay

and Jenna

and Molly

and also Kind Of Far (and without a car) from Jo Jo

and Ashley.

I miss you guys very very very much. I would like to be in better touch, so I'm going to try. . . sorry I'm so terrible at it.

my heart longs for your presence and aches in your absence. you are each so very dear to me.

2007-06-10T23:15:00.001-05:00

Jo Jo and I sleep in until ten or eleven every day and then hunt for jobs in the early afternoons. When we walked out dressed up the first day, we realised we were clothed entirely in hand-me-downs, many of which came from Miss Lorie Morris in the Great Clothes Fest of 07. I haven't bought any new summer clothes in three or four years. It's hot and damp, and by the time I've turned in three applications at the mall my feet have blisters from Lorie's old heels, and I'm wondering all over again why I'm even bothering when I know they'll tell me they don't hire for the summer if I ever get an interview.

We come home for sandwhiches and maybe a nap or a swim or reading, curled up on a couch with one of the three cats. Ellie is JoJo's favorite, but she's not allowed in the house because she drools when she's happy. Frances will be at work and come home with sore feet, reeking of Abercrombie, and Jillie will be sunburned and messing with photos on Picasa, and Pablo will be trying to get us to play the Wii with him, even though he has already exceeded his daily tv time. After dinner he will give me bike riding lessons, based on an intricate and inspiring curriculum that gets communicated to me in rough pieces: "This is Push One. Our goal is to ride three pedals." Other nights church things are going on: graduation dinners (featuring rice and beans), girls' devos at Starbucks (where they have never made it through a meeting without being questioned by weird middle-aged men), movie nights, beach afternoons...

Before sleep Jo and I pile onto Jillie's bed and read a fairy tale from The Olive Fairy Book.

Highlights of this week:

1. Movies: Lost in Translation, The Science of Sleep, Oceans 13, and Music and Lyrics for the third time.
2. The Keys: rode a Jet ski down the gold path of the sun on the water, ate dolphin fish caught the day before and legit key lime pie.
3. Pottery: Debbie got Pablo's pottery camp to open the studio for us on Friday nights. Jojo taught me to throw on the wheel, and we came away up to our elbows in clay, with our hands all dry and brown and soft.
4. The Boat: Terrible traffic jam at the marina, but worth it for the white V of the wake spreading into blue nothing, worth it to be just a little sunburned on the tops of your feet.
5. Jess Cunningham: Met her on a layover to Haiti and took her and buddies to Miami Beach. She's been running a paper route and selling produce out of a barn for her summer job... typical.

There are some very interesting trees here, and people at church say hello with Cuban cheek-kisses.

This is my life lately, and I wish you could be in it.

2007-06-04T18:57:00.000-05:00

Feist at the Impérial de Québec, June 2

I accompanied three lovely ladies to this spectacular evening; Svetta, Kristina and Maria. All three are more than worthy of honorary friend crush status for all of you (proof: Kristina & Maria were the ones who were the Beatles for Halloween).

We met up at Maria's, then went down to the theater to pick up our tickets a few hours before the show. We ate at a little café across the street to kill time, then stood in line for maybe 45 minutes waiting for the doors to open. It was a bit chilly, but we occupied ourselves with some fantastic games which I will be teaching all of you the next time we're waiting for something, or just want to draw attention to ourselves.

We finally got in and since we were in the first 100 or so, we got a fantastic place up front. We were approximately REALLY CLOSE to the stage. I'm talking second row, less than 20 feet from Leslie Feist.

None of us knew anything about the opening act, but I was thrilled to see 2 banjos, a harmonica rack and an accordion. There was even a melodica that made an appearance later on and the lead singer had a warble that would have made Ashley proud. He also had a plastic bat dangling from the head of his guitar; coolish or foolish?

Then came Feist in all her glory. We took bets on opening song: Maria won, but she played my bet as her second. The band was great. A swarm of guys wandering around behind her pulling out random instruments like flugglehorns and more melodicas. Occassionally they would all disappear for a song or two, then you'd hear a drum and realize they were back. Like magic.

She's a great performer. The whole show was just so comfortable. And she made adorable comments in French every once in awhile, which were always acknowledged with raucous cheers from the appreciative Francophones in the crowd.

And then... the surreal. Feist started playing 'One Evening,' but forgot the lyrics just a few lines in. After a bit of embarrassment (but more laughter), she asked if anyone would come sing it while she played! Karaoke with Feist! That happens to be the very song Maria sings in the shower every morning. Since we were so close to the front and Kristina is such a loud and wonderful friend to Maria, we were able to get Feist's attention and she called Maria up on stage. Yes, my friend sang with Feist. She even told Maria that she saved the show. It was really incredible.

The rest of the show went swimmingly and we were able to bring them back out for a three-song encore. One of those songs being 'Sealion' which is truly awe-inspiring live.

So, this takes the cake as the best concert I've been to. And now I have another famous friend.

2007-05-22T11:39:00.001-05:00

Future Club House

nuff said.

2007-05-18T13:35:00.000-05:00

Name of my new cell phone:

Juniper.

Come visit us and send us candy at:

6850 Cartee Rd
Miami, FL 33158

And where can we to you?

2007-04-27T01:28:00.000-05:00

I Eta Pi Club Dictionary

I tried to pick terms that are used by three or more of us on a regular basis. Names in parentheses following definitions refer to the person or people who popularized or coined the term. Please feel free to comment with added words or amendments to definitions. Definitely list funny examples of how we might use these words.

altie 1. People who listen to punk rock/emo/hardcore music. Girl pants, fauxhawks, tight shirts, cigarettes and gauges are often involved (Ashley, Jason Ballenger);
ex. the Arizona Kids (a.k.a. The B-52s)
babies 1. Small children
2. Anyone younger than club members
3. See “club baby” (Jo Jo);
ex. “Sorry, Molly. You missed the babies playing kazoo in Academy chapel today,” Mary said as Molly began to weep.
boif 1. Boyfriend. Used somewhat facetiously (Ashley)
Brothers, The 1. Club brothers. Either biological or handpicked. Tradition started freshman year; some club members were jealous that Ashley and Jo Jo’s real brothers hung out with them and the club so much, so we assigned fake brothers from original brothers’ friends.
Club members and their Club Brothers are: Ashley - Taylor; Jo Jo - Jeremy; Jenna - Steven Baird; Taylor - Brandon Fox; Johnna – Eric McMullen; Mary - Jesse Carr; Molly – Jason Ballenger)
crazy 1. Surprising, unusual, or strange. Spoken emphatically (Johnna)
2. See “out of control”
ex. What? The Treehouse was not a legit concert venue at all, but rather just some random run-down house with die cut unicorns on the wall and a pot-smoking bizarro Tay? That’s crazy!
club baby 1. The first child to be born unto a club member
2. A little kid we see and like well enough to pretend it belongs to the club
Farm, the 1. Kensett Farm where some beaux, Brothers and club friends have lived
2. Hippie commune in Tennessee where both of Mary’s parents spent time before they met
3. The Roosevelt's Illinois pig farm
farm boys 1. Boys who live at the farm (currently Eric and Matt McMullen, Brandon Fox,
and John Philip Eichman)
2. Boys who once lived at the farm (including Cheyenne, Will, Ben Simpson, Jesse, a Delewarean)
3. Boys who might as well live at the farm (term coined by Ashley)
farm shirt 1. Plaid shirt (Ashley)
great 1. Positive adjective of choice in early 2007. Emphasis often placed on the r (Jo Jo)
Housewood 1. The Cedar Street residence of Ashley, Jo Jo and Andrea
2. Housewood is personified by all club members, especially Ashley and Jo Jo since they know it best. Housewood is of ambiguous gender
ex. "Housewood hungry!"
kosher 1. Acceptable
2. Meat-free
(Jo Jo)
ex. Do you think spooning on the couch at Moil is kosher?
legit 1. Legitimate; appropriate or good;
ex. Q: I thought Josh’s accordion solo on “Mmmbop” was legit, didn’t you?
A: No.
Mi Ranch 1. Affectionate nickname for Mi Ranchito, club restaurant (Muggles)
muggles 1. Non-club members, particularly those who know little or nothing of I Eta Pi;
Laypeople (J.K. Rowling, Ashley)
obvi 1. Obviously (Ashley)
out of control 1. Used to describe something that has gone too far or beyond normal expectations (Taylor);
ex. "Johnna, I know you drink a lot of coffee, but this mug collection is out of control!" said Jenna.
precious 1. Anything adorable, sweet, or desirable (Jo Jo, Paige);
ex. Look at that cool Folk Fest boy wandering around alone. He’s kind of precious.
seriously 1. Expression of disbelief or surprise
2. Sometimes expressed as seer, also an affirmation or expression of agreement (Alex Cone, Brian McNabb, Jason Ballenger);
ex. “Guys, this fridge is out of control,” laughed Taylor. “Six different kinds of milk? Seriously? I’m just not sure that’s reasonable!”
sketch 1. Questionable (Paige)
so club 1. Used to describe someone or something that is displaying club colors, turquoise and brown (Taylor);
ex. Oh my gosh, Vicente Fox’s wife Marta was so club! Good vibes...
true love or suspicion thereof 1. The only circumstances under which a club member may
date a beau (Mary)
unbecoming 1. Not looking good
2. Molly’s secret signature posture/vibe
vaguing 1. Hanging out with a member of the opposite sex with whom there is
undiscussed mutual romantic interest (Sarah Brown)
vating 1. Vague dating. Transitional period between hanging out (see vaguing) and dating (Molly)
very 1. Used to intentionally over-emphasize a point (Ashley)
ex. "This gnome will look VERY good on Housewood’s doorstep," smiled Ashley.
"Housewood love gnome," said Housewood.
vibe 1. The aura about a person, place, or thing (the brothers McNabb)
2. To relax; ex. Let’s just go to Moil and vibe
3. See also: verbing under Miscellaneous Club Argot
whatev 1. Whatever. Passive acceptance or flippant dismissiveness
2. A resounding “yeah right!”
(Molly)
ex. “I’m very exhausted,” Ashley moaned.
“Whatev!” Jo Jo said. “You slept until 3 p.m. today.”

Miscellaneous Club Argot

First letter substitution: Spontaneously changing the first letter of words. May span entire sentences or just one or two words (Jo Jo);
ex. Q. Hey, is there a new episode of Vilmore Virls on Tuesday?
A. Fhy, fes! There is! Seems like there hasn’t been a new one on in nine yee-ahs!

He/She/That Guy: Used for identifying inanimate objects (Jesse Carr);
ex. “Mary, which guitar would you like?” asked Jenna.
“The Blueridge,” Mary replied. “I love that guy.”
“Yeah, she sounds pretty great,” Jenna said.

Verbing: Turning nouns into verbs (Molly);
ex. verbing, vibing, journaling (common),Facebooking, thrifting.

2007-03-08T15:01:00.000-06:00

Housewood Scarf Dance Night

I know this was ages ago, but I think it still deserves a post.
Here's Molly: half arabian hero, half world's best dancer.

Mary, Andrea, Jess, Molly.

Dance on, my friends.

2007-03-04T17:19:00.000-06:00

I don't know if any of you receive the tyler james newsletter, but man. this is big.

here's the letter in full, brackets, italics, and bolds added by me:

hey folks, I'm making my primetime tv debut this Sunday (tomorrow)[tonight] with a song featured in the new ABC show "Brothers & Sisters". The show airs at 10pm ET/ 9PM CT following "Desperate House Wives" and "Exreme Makeover: Home Edition" We'd love for any and all of you to tune in....It should be a two minute clip of "stay humble".

Also...Bryan Adams had myself and Leigh Nash sing one of his songs for the new Disney film "Bridge To Tarabitha" in theaters worldwide now[!]. Stick around for the credits :) thats all for now. I'm nearing the end of recording the record and i will be hitting the road again in april (texas.. this means you).

much love, tyler.

tyler james. i am so proud. i eta pi salutes you, and continues to love you and your music.

girls. let's go see bridge to tarabitha!

2007-03-01T00:47:00.000-06:00

I bought a bottle of classic coconut syrup tonight at Midnight Oil. I spent slightly more than $10 on it, but I think this bottle will last me a good 3 years or so. If I don't share. So maybe less, because I want everyone to bask in the glory that is coconut flavoring. The side of the bottle says it's good in coffee drinks, Italian sodas, teas/beverages, cocktails, shakes/malts, ice cream, baking/desserts, granitas/slushies, and pancakes/waffles (!). I love it in soy milk. I may fill a flask with the stuff and strap it to my leg so I can pull it out a little bit covertly and a little bit obviously in restaurants or the Student Center and sprinkle its exotic sweetness over whatever I'm eating or drinking. Maybe even just swig it, because that is just how much I adore coconut.

Here is a fairly cohesive list of the few things I will (probably) not be enhancing with coconut flavoring:

Pizza
Macaroni and cheese
Nachos
Escargot

That was a hard list to compile. I do not even eat escargot, ergo, of course I will not put the syrup on it. That would be wasteful. And the other items are only there because cheese is one of the few things I haven't tried with coconut. Yet. I might be able to shorten that list. As soon as I can get my hands on a flask.

2007-01-27T17:22:00.000-06:00

I Eta Pi
I just explained the miracle of life to some guy in the computer lab. He needed to use the administrator's computer so he could test his autobiographical Powerpoint presentation with the projector, so I got to see the whole show. At the end, I said, "It was great! Can I just offer a word of advice?"
"Sure," he said, looking grateful for the feedback.
"Well, on the first slide, where it talks about your birth information, you wrote, 'Conceived: United Methodist Hospital.'"
"Yeah?"
"Well, umm... do you know what that means?"
"Yeah! It's when you're born! It's when... [and here he gestured with sweeping motions of both arms and made a very unpleasant birthing sound.]"
"No." How could I put this? "The moment you are conceived is the moment the sperm joins with the egg."
"Yeah, that's what I said!" Now I was confused. I was pretty sure his mother did not actually get pregnant at United Methodist Hospital, although now that I watch "Grey's Anatomy," I bet it happens more often than you'd think.
"Uhh, I just don't think it's what you mean," I said slowly. He shrugged and changed "Conceived:" to "Born at:"

He'll thank me later.

2007-01-08T17:39:00.000-06:00

I Eta Pi

i have been unable to stop listening to sufjan's seven swans.

i've spent most of my time here at home with my family, and the majority of that, with my sister. she has been playing the (baritone?) ukulele since the summer, and she's gotten really good. she's never played much else before, but she's a freakishly awesome girl which must explain her talent.

michelle is fifteen now. she is beautiful and smart and fun and independent. she starts out quiet when she meets you, then slowly reveals her awesomeness. she hates being shy but doesn't know how to overcome it. i know she will love all of you guys, and i ask you all to take her under your collective wing when you come down and make sure she feels welcome.

i realized a few days ago that she is my best friend. i love her fiercely.

we have spent the break playing yuke and guitar together (my first experience ever really being able to play with someone in a more than proximital respect), and reading books aloud to one another. we are on our third book now. sometimes we take turns eating so the other can read, and we stay up late into the night until the listener can no longer stay awake.

my mom bakes bread that cannot be described, my dad interrupts our reading for an offer of "star trek?" (which we always accept gladly). we play scrabble a lot; once my parents managed to be in Three Games of it At Once, when two half-completed boards had to be postponed because of other players, and then they were challenged by our long-time family friends, the Duerrs-- and we never play them, so it was crazy timing. we also often play settlers of catan, which involves hexagons, bartering, and usually a surplus of sheep, among other things.

we went to the beach a couple times at the beginning of break, but then everyone came and we were too busy or too tired to go. the weather was so nice for a while that we had the windows and doors open to the perfect breeze and golden light; however, by Christmas we had to close up all the doors and windows, turning to environmental controls to protect us . . . from the heat.

my First and Greatest and Only Nephew, GROVER, is the coolest baby possible. he took his first steps on Christmas day. he'll be a year this month, and he's old enough now to recognize us and play and be hilarious. a few days ago he nearly started crying when michelle and i left to pick up my friend Sandi. he loves us.

i love home. deeply. but i love all of you deeply. i will be sad to leave, but i can't wait to be back.

2007-01-01T13:11:00.000-06:00

Actual Pipeline Sidebar Headlines for January 1, 2007:
(This is News?)

Reputed Florida Mobster Indicted at Age 96

Albert "Chinky" Facchiano, at 96 reputedly remains actively involved in the mob.

Cops: N.C. Woman Castrated Man With Bare Hands

A woman attacked a man in his genitals, injuring him badly enough that he needed 50 stitches, authorities say.

UCLA Chemistry Professor to Be Awarded Knighthood by British Queen

A chemistry professor at UCLA has been selected for knighthood by Queen Elizabeth II of Britain.

14-Foot Burmese Python Bites Handler in Florida

18-year-old Alison Cobianchi was attacked by the snake in Florida; the python wouldn't let go until it was zapped with a stun gun.

Droppin' of the Carp Rings in Midwest New Year

Wisconsin residents prepare for sixth annual Droppin' of the Carp, as a 20-pound female fish is lowered from a 110-foot crane.

Million-Plus Revelers Celebrate New Year's in New York City

New Year's Eve Ball drops in Manhattan with 3.5 tons of confetti.

Arkansas Man Discovers 'Star of Thelma' White Diamond

Gary Dunlap finds 2.37-carat white diamond at the Crater of Diamonds state park in Murfreesboro, Arkansas, the only site where visitors are allowed keep the stones they discover.

Why do they bother with Fox news? They should just hire the National Enquirer.

2006-12-25T22:37:00.000-06:00

{Last Christmas Eve}

{This Christmas Eve}

{There are 7 differences between these two pictures. Can you find them all?}

I know that to many of you a white Christmas is a foolish fantasy and to the rest it is rare but beautiful gift. To me, however, it is a foregone conclusion now that my parents live in the great northern tundra. Or so I thought...

This year, in celebration of my short visit and my great love of snow, Québec decided to have temperatures above freezing almost all week & the first ever non-white Christmas! There are two great ironies in all of this. First is the 25 cm of snow in the forecast for tomorrow, the day we will be driving the 22 hours back to Iowa. Second is that almost all of you at least had the word snow in your weather forecasts today. They even saw snow flakes in Florida yesterday.

So, Merry Christmas & many happy seasons of Global Warming.
Love ~ Y.F.F.F.C. (Your Favorite Fake French Canadian)

2006-12-25T16:31:00.000-06:00

Merry Christmas everyone! I know, that I am probably the biggest Rocky fan in the club, but if any of you are considering seeing the new Rocky movie, I have one word for you...Jess. Yes, that's right, magnificent boxing series meets Gilmore Girls! In other news, I am the proud new owner of an "official" club kettle, courtesy of my little sister...awesome.

2006-12-20T10:10:00.000-06:00

Letters to Santa, 2nd ed.

Dear Santa,
What are you doeing, Santa? I wat to have a new winter dress, ples. I realy wut 20 Danse Prississis. A girl and boy Barbre dolls. I am 8 and a half. Love you. I am doeing ok.
P.S. Ples will you help me share with others. Thank you!

Dear Santa,
I don't have a chimne so how do you getin the house? Ples bring me a bike, remote control, and a gameboy advance. I luv you and be saf. Dad and Mom and Gouma and Goupa need close.

Dear Santa,
I love you. How are you doing? I want a forwelr, Mp3 player, and a pet dog.
P.S. To Miss Clase, are you a woman?

Dear Santa,
How is the trets like cookies, carrots and milk? Can you get me some flome? Can you let me pet one of your raindeer? I hope the teachers at school get paid like they shode. Merry Christmas Santa!

Dear Santa,
How is Miss Claus? I would like a baby brother for Christmas. Can you spread love around my family?

Dear Santa,
This year for Christmas I wont a 20 gage shotgun. My brother wonts a pease of cole. Please bring my mom a cat. Dose Comet have an Ipod?

Dear Santa,
Have you been eating a lot of food this year? How much do you waigh. I waigh 51 pounds. Last year I got a lot of candy in my stocing. and I got a hole bag of bouncy balls. My Mom she ben kind of good. and my Dad ben kind of good. I got a cat, do you got a cat. My cat ben really good. My sister hasnt ben good don't get my sister any presint.

Dear Santa,
I hope you are not sick and I also hope that the raindar are not sick too because without the randeer we would miss Christmas. My family is really trying to get Christmas stuff. we do not put up lights on out hose but I think its ok if we don't. I also hope you can leave Gale Lovelette some new tools because all his tools are getting really old it's been a long time sense he got new ones. I also hope that you and Mrs. Cluse are doing really good in the north pole because I think it would be really cold in the north pole I would have to wear a lot of cloths to keep me warm. I think you are the best person in the hall world. I have seen all of the movies about you they are really good movies.

Dear Santa,
I want to know one elfs name please? Last year I loved the REAL golden ring. I was exited to get it and your realy awsome and fun and I'm not kidding! Please will you bring me a rerbo dog, I would love that. Will you please help the nursing home stay helthey? They are really sick and my naobor is there to. She really needs help she's blind. She needs lots of help. So please help them. They are all really sick. They are deaf and blind and have broken bones. They are all sick in some way.

Dear Santa,
I think I should get a prezent because I took the londry to the londry room. I would like a watch. My family really needs more Christmas lights. Have you had any cooockies?

Dear Santa,
I have too much stuff so my list is short and sweet. First, I'd realy realy realy like it if you could Make World Peace. Next, if you can't do that, the new dance version of Twister wolde be nice. I like Santa Claus 1,2,3 the best. CHOWE for now.

Dear Santa,
I hope I'm on the good boy list! One day I thought I saw you but it was just my dad. I really believe in you. My dad and my mom says you are not real. How many elves do you have? We are talking about you in class. I hope you can get to me this year. I would love to meet you!

Dear Santa,
Hello up there!!! Oh...there you are. Hi Santa! I think I've been good all year. I can't remember. Anyway, if your little elf friends can make these items, I'll be happy: Nintendo DS, Sigma 6 guys, and Nintendo DS skin. Hope ya don't get a cold.

Dear Santa,
I am nine years old now. I am in the third grade. This is my last year to write to you. I am still going to write to you at home. I can't write to you at school. It's just the rules. Thank you for the presents last year.

Dear Santa,
You are the most loyal person in the whole wide world! How is Rudolph? If he is well, tell him to keep his red nose a-shining. And how is Donner? How is Mrs. Clause? Thank you for the presents last year. I can't think of anything I want this year. And I love you!

Dear Santa,
I'm thankful for my friends and family. I'm really thankful for my parents. My mom feeds me. My dad dose too but only on Tuesday and Wednesday. I'm thankful for my dad because he takes me hunting. My mom takes baby shopping.

Dear Santa,
What do you want. I like you. I want you to be my best friend.

Dear Santa,
Thank you for the boots but they were too big but can I get them this year please.

Dear Santa,
Thank you for the spikey grow ball last year. Please get the needy the things they need.
P.S. I might have a list of queschens, if you have time please answer them.

Dear Santa,
Is it cold ther? It is warm here i want smake down vr Raw 2007. Will you breng me a dirt bike plese? Plese bring the man that rides a bike to church a new car or a truk? My Dad wonts a new truk plese. My Mom wonts a new toser plese. My brouther wonts a new celfon plese. You are nice Satclos.

Dear Santa,
For Christmas I want a new alarm clock. Thank you for sending me letters every year. I hope for one this year too. How bad was the gumball disaster? Does Mrs. Claus still have the flu?

Dear Santa,
I would like a baby that poops and pees. I know it's messy, but mom doesn't care. And a John Deere tractor for my brother.

Dear Santa,
This is my furst Crismus. Woof woof. I wuld like another pink sweter and sum bones. I like my new family. Thank you Satna. I hope I can help you on Crismus eve.
Love, London

2006-12-07T15:26:00.000-06:00

On coming home after three months, I found my phone at max capacity with twenty voicemails. Eighteen were from Jojo. Highlights:

Sept 4: "Subject: English Major: Me."
Sept 7: "HUT? What's that little store called?"
Sept 8: "Notice: your children are due for their check-up."
Sept 13: "Really good party food... red and green grapes..."
Sept 22: "I just wanted to let you know that these messages may not be saving."
Sept 22: "Aaerchj4ahhherrragggcchaaeeh."
Sept 22: Club singing "Come thou fount of every blessing..."
Sept 25: "Why don't you answer your phone anymore?"
Sept 29: "So, my house went up in flames yesterday."
Oct 4: "They found Leo, our cat yesterday... really heartwarming..."
Oct 5: "Hi, I just faked your identity with the gas company..."
Oct 10: "She just kind of looked at me blankly and then said, 'We don't have those anymore.'"
Oct 11: "And Dr. Burks was all like, 'Ok, announcements first, then singing, then prayer.'

Gogo, Jojo.

2006-11-24T23:14:00.000-06:00

I'm involved with someone new.
He's an older fellow but in excellent shape.
I'm sure all of you will approve. He's quite the catch.
His name is Robert.

2006-11-15T13:10:00.000-06:00

Yesterday I was walking along with Taylor on the bike trail, she in her pink head wrap and me in my earmuffs. Her phone rang and she picked up and went through some traditional greetings. After the formalities, she got down to buisness:
"Yea...I just don't know how I feel about reselling retail across the border, mom."
Then, she preceded to make a few concessions and maybe even possibly agree to engage in this nefarious behavior!
The integrity of our club is at stake. Please, everyone who is worried about the moral nature of Taylor send her lots of encouraging emails and call her often. This is a tough time for all of us.

Mary Speaking:
And speaking of tough times, we've finished Season 3 of The O.C.
The future of the show is now very ambiguous and I can't speak for the rest of the Club, but I don't know if I can go on.

I want you all to know that the time for a haircut is now. I am cutting Johnna's hair tonight and Matt's tomorrow, if all goes according to plan. So I'm your coiffeuse.

2006-11-15T11:45:00.000-06:00

Girls, I'm temporarily locked out of pipeline. You can email me at ashlley@juno.com in the next ten days, after that I'll be gone.

ps- I'm learning to knit.

2006-10-23T22:26:00.000-05:00

Okay guys, Club Quiz Volume 2 is now available. Take the quiz and see how well you know I Eta Pi!
http://www.quizyourfriends.com/quizpage.php?quizname=061023231602-569643&

2006-09-14T10:38:00.000-05:00

Now that I finally have Internet Access again, I would like to Take a Moment to Thank the Following Beloved People for the Following Beloved talismans, which have enabled me to Carry everyone I love All the way Across the Seas:
---------------------------------------------

1) JoJo's black ballet shoes (unitentionally stolen), black and white film, and permanent marker (birthday present)
2) Kory's grey cap (involuntarily given)
3) Paige's mp3 cd player (generously loaned, along with mp3 cds, green sea glass, and a burned copy of Car Wheels on a Gravel Road)
4) Molly's inflatable travel pillow (given? lent?)
5) Johnna's quebecian matches (birthday present)
6) Mary's travel towel (which was offered to me but ended up with Betsy by my own neglect)
7) Mom's New Testament from college (requested)
8) Dad's european maps (insistently given)
9) Eric McMullen's old Pentax (given along with three lenses and a flash- Awesome)
10) Taylor's copy of The Stones of Florence (given) and his compass (stolen)
11) Jenna's shampoo and school supplies (left at the villa for me)

And, of course, all the less tangible things- prayers, skittles, fond farewells, good advice, warnings about the dangers of being Tiny in Europe (Fox), money, music, condemnations.

I guess what I'm trying to do here is not so much thank the academy as to let you know that even though I only brought one suitcase, my first priority was to pack you.

I'm glad you're here.

2006-09-04T15:22:00.000-05:00

Today, Ashley and Betsy will cross the atlantic. It's Betsy's birthday. It is a good gift, I think, to be flying to Italy with Ashley.

For those of us here, it is a day to think of our friends, and keep them safe in our hearts. As each semester passes, I become more alarmed at how fast it went by, and how near is The End. But then I remember that as a majorless Junior, I'll be around for awhile. Really, this is heaven to me. All of you. Thank you for welcoming me.

So. . . my First Post. I don't know that I can write so captivatingly as you ladies, but who cares. (Slash, "I don't know what to follow that with".) I am listening to the club mix (again--and I Don't mean for the second time), and I love it to a degree that may be a little unhealthy. An Awesome degree.

Alright, that's all I've got. A bientot-

2006-08-24T23:22:00.000-05:00

It was so good to see you all for a week. I really love the time right before school starts, in that first rush when Searcy wakes up and becomes entertaining again, a happening college town, and it even tries to be a little bit cool before it is brutally supressed by Harding circa homecoming. Camping was wonderful, even if I did whine too much about the vultures at the Heber Springs fish hatchery campground. I still think that was totally justified, though, and I know you all secretly agreed with me when we pulled around that curve and that huge nasty buzzard kind of sat up from among its skulking fellows, stared us right in the eyes, and flapped a few times before settling back into his disgusting ways. I don't know what posessed them to put a campground near that scavenger-infested, florescent-lit, pentitionary-esque, fish-egg reeking monstrosity. Who wants to sleep near that? But whatever. We found a campsite far away, so no big deal.
Almost as good was the concert Sunday night, when the Africa girls made food and we cleaned/decorated the garage. As I kept shouting at people in the vein of "Your aura's purple!" it was the "party of the Century."
Molly wanted me to send her part of an e-mail I wrote about it, but I think I'll just post it here:

"The farm was totally crammed with people, and there was music in every room, and it was sort of funny because I felt like it was the kind of atmosphere (hippies, middle of nowhere) where you stumble drunk and high into a bedroom and find other drunk high people making out or whatever, except nobody was drunk Or high, and the only people in the bedrooms were like playing guitar or talking on the phone to their mothers.
It was wet and hot, and I was reminded of how much I love searcy shows where everyone knows each other, and I love the girls swing dancing in the front row just as much I love the boys gesturing wildly and talking in low voices out in the dripping gravel driveway, their faces only half-visible in the light from the garage and the butts of their parliments.
It would be hard to pick a highlight, but it was probably near the end, when they played that jazzy "satisfaction" song, with Ballenger and Brock dancing like crazy up in front, so crazy that Ballenger's red bandanna slipped down on his sweaty hair and fell over his eyes, and he just kept on dancing completely blindfolded.
Or Jesse's last performance of "Shakedown on 9th Street," screaming into the microphone with a euphoric violence that always almost frightens me, "Lucy! Lucy my gal!" and the crowd leaning in, Molly and Jo Jo and Betsy and Mary and Kory, Matt and Eric (McMullen and Mount), Alex and Ike and Brock and Malina, Jess and Lori and Erica and Nathan and Ben, and almost everyone I ever knew, to echo it even louder, at which point Jesse flung the sweat out of his eyes and Danielle's hand paused on the bow of her violin as he hissed into the mic, "IwasjustgonnahitherbutI'mgonnakillhernow!" and Ballenger kicked in on harmonica like it was gonna save his life.
Anyway, I think I'm in love with Rock and Roll."

I'm not sure whether quoting e-mails you've written is incredibly vain or a little more legit than quoting other people, but I think it's probably the former. To make up for my self-centered stint, I'd like to direct you to the new group blog created by the brothers: see link in sidebar.
Taylor and Jeremy also have a myspace under the name "Millennial Harbingers" for their old-tyme-sawdust songs.
While unpacking today, I noticed that my sheets smell like our house on Cedar Street and was hit by a wave of notalgia. I miss you all already- more than freshmen miss home-cooked food, more than Florentines miss the rennassaince. Please write to me- every day if at all possible. In the meantime, listen to the Carpenter's sing "leaving on a jet plane" (but not on our record player because that song is scratched and it says "I'm standing here, outside your do-ate to wake you up to say goodbye") sometime around September fourth, pretend I'm singing it to you (except in tune and with accompaniment), and send a "bon voyage" my way via the Good Lord.

2006-08-11T16:05:00.000-05:00

longest day of my life.

August 9th, 2006 (day before)

5:30 am - Mark and I awake from our cozy beds in Astin (near Amsterdam) at the house of the wonderful Van Erps. They drive us to the airport, and we catch our flight to London.
9:30 am - Arrive at Stansted Airport, catch a train into the city.
11ish - begin walking from one corner of London to the other.
5:30 pm - arrive at our final destination, Gatwick Airport. We eat, read, write, and sleep until morning.

August 10th.

When I wake up (7:00), this is what I see below:

people freaking out.

Why? I wondered. A problem with the luggage system? (yes..on top of everything else going on) A celebrity sighting? (no..but it would explain all of the camera men and news reporters). A foiled terrorist attack on the U.S. that involved using normal carry-on items to bomb 20 planes leaving London? (bingo.) But I had no idea what was going on until I watched CNN later. Mark and I went downstairs to check in for our flight when we found out we couldn't carry anything onto the plane with us. Only our passports, boarding passes, and the contents of our wallets. No books, no ipods, no computers, and most definitely no drinks, lotions, gels, or items of similar consistency. That airport was a madhouse of frustrated and confused people, but at least airport security was calm and cheerful and the flight attendants were helpful.
I wasn't ever scared because I didn't fully understand what was going on, but I was upset because I wanted to go home more than anything else. My scheduled flight for 1:50 didn't leave the ground until 6:45, so while I missed my connecting flight from Detroit and had to stay in a hotel overnight, I was safe and flew into Evansville at 10:00 this morning.

So after 3 beautiful months and 2 hectic days I'm home. And exhausted. See you girls in a week.

2006-08-08T15:54:00.000-05:00

hi jojo!! nice to hear from you.
i regret to tell you that i don't think we would be able to sell you the big dark blue couch b/c it's thomas' fav. it's the only one in which he can fully stretch out his legs (he's a tall guy)...but if you need a couch you could probably have the one that's multicolor and that's on the wall by the entrance door. (EDITOR'S NOTE- she's referring to Jeff) my neighbors gave to us, but we didn't really need it (as you can tell, three couches in that little living room is a little much). actually, we would be really happy if you could make use of it....sorry it's not georges. you could always....write him a love letter and sew it on the back of him so that your memory would always stay tied to him....
hope your move goes smoothly, golly the time went by so fast!!! i was very happy that you girls were able to stay there and have a good time.
now if you could get back to me sometime soon that would be great too. thanks.
rose

I really love to think about the way she added an s to George's name...Georges. So frenchy.

2006-07-24T14:31:00.000-05:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOLLY!
(everyone please facebook/call/myspace/hug/pat/congratulate/backscratch/email/highfive Molly, as she just turned 21)

2006-06-22T23:22:00.000-05:00

Top five people I met on my cross-country train ride (in chronological order)

5 ~ Happy-Michigan-Retired-Gardener-Couple; They sat behind me & I overheard them asking questions about the Iowa towns we were passing through so I piped up with my random home state knowledge & told them much more than they'd ever want to know about the Mississippi. We talked all the way to Chicago about their garden & their grandkids. The conductor even joined us for an hour.

4 ~ New-York-Gangster-Boy; The female half of H-M-R-G-C & I ended up in the viewing car next to N-Y-G-B who was probably nothing near a gangster, but in my defense, he looked like he could have been trying to look like one. He sweetly listened to 'back in my day' stories about trolleys in Chicago in the 40s. He ended up on the same train with me out to Albany & helped me with my bags, then promptly sat behind me & didn't say a word for the next 24 hours.

3 ~ The-Dining-Car-Gang; There were about 4 of us + 2 conductors who were awake at 4 a.m. sitting in the dining car sharing a few hours listening to train stories & watching the sun rise.

2 ~ Eduardo- Brazilian-Harvard-Philosopher; He got on at Rochester (NY) when I was in the dining car (I spent over half the trip in there because my seat didn't have a window & I couldn't stand not seeing). We shared a table all the way to Albany which ended up being about 5 hours thanks to Amtrak delays. Been in the states for 6 years, working on his doctorate at Harvard now. We talked about his 8-yr-old & travel & God. He told me I was crazy for wanting to be a teacher. I told him he was crazy for being from Brazil & not watching soccer. He was proud of me for exploring the world & appreciating trains. I was proud of him for talking instead of working on his thesis.

1 ~ Classy-Plaid-Man; He deserves a better name, really. He joined Eduardo & I when I was working on a crossword, came to my rescue because I was very stuck. He was a scrawny dignified old man at least 75 with smile crevices swallowing his eyes that somehow still managed to sparkle. He wore a plaid dinner jacket with protected elbows & a Jane Austen novel in the pocket, a plaid shirt, plaid tie & black polished penny loafers. After saving my puzzle he excused himself 'to dine' then joined me again & bought me a 'soda'. We worked crosswords until we got kicked out of the dining car, then he joined me at my seat to finish up as we rolled the last 20 minutes into Albany. He was traveling on, but he carried my bags off the train for me making sure I had someone meeting me at the station. He was probably an English professor in a former life... or a knight.

2006-06-10T21:21:00.000-05:00

Oi. Crashly and I are at Midnight Oil, relaxing from a long day of doing nothing. Taylor spent the night at the apartment last night and it was GREAT. I can't say we did a whole lot. In fact, there was one point while we were sitting around the kitchen table when I was trying to take videos on the digital camera and everyone was so still that they turned out like very long pictures.
Ashley: Right before that we went to get doughnuts. We woke up early (11:30) and called to see what time they closed (12:00). Jo Jo and I looked at eachother. No time to put real clothes on. We simultaneously blurted "I'm wearing my kimono," and "Let me just get my kimono." It was funny, but these things never come across as well in print.
J: If you're really interested, you can look at the polaroid we took in the parking lot for proof. It's a golden one--we're holding the box of donuts and Ashley looks like she's whining about having to get up before 12.
A: We went to IHOP too, and I drank tons of coffee and the waiter fell in love with Rachel. He gave her a free drink for being so purty. They served diamonds in six different ways: sunny-side up, over-easy, benedict, scrambled, medium rare, and one secret Native American recipe that tastes like arrowheads in the rain.
J: Wilco and Billy Bragg's song Airline to Heaven is the best thing that happened to me this week. Well, I say that. It's really tied with the way Taylor looked around the living room last night and said "I think death would look good on that couch."
A: We were picking which of three couches we would die on, have sex on (with our spouse, obvi), or make out on. We also rehashed the old marry makeout meatloker question. To really understand this, you have to know the couches.
A brief character sketch:
Jeff: In his human incarnation, he's an orthodontist. He was a bible minor at Harding, very good with kids, and dependable. Your parents love him. He's stable, keeps food on the table, but sometimes you find yourself wondering if there's a more exciting side to masculinity that you're totally missing out on...
Taylor married him, Jo Jo and I made out with him. He's older than us, in a mid-1990's Florida condo sort of way.
J: His upholstery looks 100 percent like it's made of sweater vests.
A: yeah.
George: Formerly known as "space couch."
J: It's a sad truth in my life that the only boy I love is my couch. You'll fall in love with George too, given the time.
A: First impression was doubtful, especially when he had that quilt over his back all the time. Like a boy who is always at starbucks trying to pretend that he doesn't still live at home. But when Jo Jo moved the quilt to the other couch so we didn't have the clashing garage band-grandmother imagery to deal with, we suddenly all began to realize how hot George really was. I mean, c'mon, he totally listens to The Vines and single-cuffs his jeans. He moved to Searcy for a girlfriend, but when she broke his heart he never got around to going back to Nashville. He's smart, but doesn't try. His apartment is A Wreck, but it's mostly his roommates' fault. Or so we tell ourselves.
J: Tay insists that George has a secret mature side. I agree, but I think she only said that to assauge her guilt about the way she began to prefer him over Jeff as the night grew darker. (She ended up sleeping with him). He totally has stringy black hair and is a little bit skinny.
A: He shoves stuff under the bed when you come over, but the absence of clothes on the floor only draws your attention to the fact that he hasn't vacuumed in at least a year.
J: Neither have we, actually. Did I mention George is made of dark velvet and offers the most sitting space? Lastly, we present:
Laura Ingalls Wilder- The high-backed, frilly couch that I recently obscured with George's cast-off quilt. He is debatably a she, or at least highly effeminate. You'd better believe me when I say he has 2 round pillows with womanly fabric-covered buttons in the center.
A: Jo Jo hates him. He's really almost a loveseat. 1800's era, grey-blue calico.
J: By that, I believe Ashley means 1980's era, grey-used to be blue.
A: He's the one Tay thinks death would look good on. I think he's too trite for death, but I don't particularly want to make out on him, so what else is there. I just don't know how anyone could pull off death on that couch without it looking like scarlett fever or typhoid or consumption or something involving a white nightgown and a candlestick. And even that would be sickeningly overdone.
J: Everyone is invited to come over and introduce themselves sometime. Don't try anything with George, though.

2006-05-30T14:16:00.000-05:00

I don't want this to come as too much of a shock to any of you whiners... perhaps you'd better sit down.

It's like this. It's summer, as you might have noticed, and summer usually heralds a more active period of my life. I am usually home wearing camo, whining, going on long walks with my whiny dog every evening, or away being a camp counselor and hiking up camouflage mountains with sweaty whiny snot-nosed eight-year-olds clinging to me, playing frisbee in the yard, or swimming on the beach at my Grandmother's house in Florida.
In short, I am not always the lazy, whiny, camouflaged, slow-moving Ashley you all know and love.
Because none of the above active lifestyles are present this summer, and in the spirit of whining and getting in shape for HUF, and because I can't find a pair of camo cutoffs that make my posterior look not like a small blimp, I have been forced to take desperate measures.

Yes, that's right. I went running this weekend. Twice.
Running, you ask? Call it what you will, but I was wearing camo tennis shoes and I broke a sweat.

And apparently it's already started to make a difference, because as I was whining to work this morning two whiners in full camouflage taking a whining break behind that camouflaged strip mall on Whiny Street totally tried to camouflage me for the whining army.

2006-05-24T13:58:00.000-05:00

I found this shopping list outside the entrance to Wal Mart the other day. Double spaced on notebook paper, it reads:

* Bird Feeder
* Bird Seed
* SteeL RAKe
* Cat Liter
* grass seed
* Humming bird Feeder
* Huming bird Food

Look out, cats!

2006-05-22T18:46:00.000-05:00

Guys, I'm pretty sure I saw 2 beavers today.

2006-05-20T15:56:00.000-05:00

I Eta Pi in Italy!

in the iris garden

overlooking the Arno

much love.

2006-05-11T22:27:00.001-05:00

My dad just came home the other evening, and we went straight from the airport to Charlestons, the restaurant he had chosen in advance to finally settle his months-long craving for a cheese burger. I ordered the chicken tenders and it came with little cups of barbecue and honey mustard sauce. Once the chicken was gone, there was a lot of sauce remaining, and being a huge advocate of playing with your food, I drew the face of the Lord in the BBQ sauce. Dad thought this was terribly funny and made me take a picture of it. Then, when our waitress came to refill the waters, Dad said, "I think we should get our meal for free!" She looked nervous and he leaned in to explain. "Jesus is in the barbecue sauce!" he grinned. To him, this was a great joke, but she just chuckled politely and ran off. I'm not sure she even saw Jesus, and probably just thought Dad was a little out of his mind.

2006-05-10T16:28:00.000-05:00

Yesterday afternoon I was on my way home from Ashlee Smith's apartment, listening to the mix Ronny gave me on our blind date, and I thought to myself, "I don't really feel like going back to my empty house to watch TV and sit around." Before I knew it, I was at the 4-way stop behind Berryhill Park. Naturally, I decided the best course of action was to drive out past the fairgrounds and just see what happened. So, there I was, windows down, Ronny Mix cranked up, blazing down the highway and donning the shirt I recently stole from the farm. I eventually found myself in Downtown Judsonia. At every turn, I saw a new gloriously rural/Southern sight: a meeting going on at the Masonic Lodge, 3 boys playing basketball in the Baptist Church parking lot (we waved at each other when I drove by), a run-down city park, and an old house complete with Ionic columns--to name a few. Time seemed to be standing still....and then I realized that I was living a scene from Elizabethtown. It was the best afternoon of my life. What a way to kick off the summer!

2006-05-10T01:16:00.000-05:00

Family heirlooms I received tonight via Nana and Papa, who have decided to let the wolves loose on their possessions while they're still around to enjoy it:

- a red and white checked picnic tablecloth
- a small basket full of old-school clothespins
- a low-seated spindle-backed antique rocking chair
- a gorgeous glass-pained cherry (?) secretary
- and best of all, a Zebco rod and reel. (with fully equipped tackle box)

Brudder's getting a grandmother clock.

Hopefully some dishes and pieces of ever-exquisite ever-useless wedding crystal are coming my way soon.

What we didn't get: The Family Anvil, which no one told me was up for grabs and has apparently been around for five generations. Uncle Jim snagged it, which, cmon, what does He need an anvil for? I think we all know that nobody is gonna appreciate an anvil in this family like Taylor and I. And maybe Jesse. Maybe.

2006-05-09T21:46:00.000-05:00

So I just looked at this picture on facebook, and you know what??? I miss you girls who are far away!!! Can't wait to see you. Love you girls!

2006-05-06T16:43:00.000-05:00

Dear Ballenger,
<---- Are you Jesus?
And instead of a harmonica, is that a dove in your hand?

(taken at Battle of the Bands last night)

sick of Searcy.
ready to go home.

2006-04-24T16:45:00.000-05:00

In the News

Two words: Blind Date Function.

2006-04-17T01:31:00.000-05:00

Toga Party.
Some kids in our group made that killer mosaic. Isn't it swanky?

We saw Molly and Michelle yesterday and it was a real gift from Zeus. Rachel goes home on Wednesday and Molly, Michelle and I leave Greece to free travel. See you all soon!

2006-04-14T09:42:00.000-05:00

20 people/things/occurances that are helping me get on with my life (in a sort of order)

1) Ashley Carr, Taylor Cloninger, Johnna Percell

2) emails/phone calls from the overseas bunch

3) an offer from Rachel to listen to Colin Hay's song for hours upon hours in a dark dormroom

4) mom

4) springtime

5) Jesus

6) Ashley Harrington

7) the beaus

8) the brothers

9) dad

10) an after-school excursion to Bald Knob

11) a weekend in Mountain View

12) midnight hopscotch

13) midnight oil

14) singing angry italian songs

15) croissants

16) bike rides

17) HUF (32 days?)

18) songs I've listened to

'you're a big girl now' - bob dylan
'idiot wind' - bob dylan
'cause=time' - broken social scene
'i can't catch you' - sixpence none the richer
'atlantic city' - bruce springsteen
'off the rail'- the notwist
'why i'm like this' - the autumn defense
'that teenage feeling' - neko case
'nothingsevergonnastandinmywayagain' - wilco
'high and dry' - radiohead
'the silent type' - big silver
'heart of gold' - neil young
'i found a reason' - cat power
'the gymnast high above the ground' - decemberists
'stephanie says' - velvet underground
'oh, sister' - bob dylan
'light enough to travel' - be good tanyas
'good night' - the beatles
any vashti bunyan calms me down if i want to punch something
and the song that would have made high school so much easier:
'she's a jar' - wilco

19) laughing

20) breathing.

thank you.

2006-04-12T15:18:00.000-05:00

Actual excerpt from The Harding University Brackett Library's Training Session for Student Reference Assistants (the capitalizations are my own):

"Oh, our Easter Decorations aren't up this year! Ususually we have a Six-Foot Handmade Bunny that we put up. I don't know where it is this year. It's handmade by a lady we know... she made both of them. The first one we put out by the door a few years ago and after it was up a few days it suddenly Disappeared. I don't know where it could have gone-- how anyone could have Taken It without being noticed. I guess it just Got Up one night and Hopped Away! Hahaha. So anyway, we had her make us another bunny, and this one has a Bar Code In It so it Will Set Off the Alarms if Anyone Tries to Take it. I don't know why it's not up this year. But that's not our department. Circulation usually takes care of the decorations."

Dear Johnna, sitting across the room: WHAT!?
Dear Eric: Please don't miss any more meetings. Mrs. Hobby gets kind of crazy.
Dear Giant Bunny Theif: Be careful.

2006-04-11T13:56:00.000-05:00

This tragedy will be met by a hurricane of love. This is your blood.

2006-04-09T14:34:00.000-05:00

Does anyone remember the name of that horrible boy whom I had to sit next to in chapel my first semester at Harding? I think his first name was Seth. He's also the one who shouted "gross!" when Molly sneezed one time in class. His other attributes include:
v. gross demeanor
had a short frowny Indian girlfriend, they made out a lot
made me want to puke, daily
was generally hated by all who came across him

2006-04-05T23:27:00.000-05:00

An I Eta Pi proposal:

Starting on Easter Sunday, continuing through the first day of Fall '06 classes:
The landlocked club members have decided to go without a haircut for the entire summer. This is for club girls only; sorry beaus. PLEASE keep kempt.
..but anyone else who wants to join our crusade may do so.

Rules of the game:
*No scissors shall touch the hair from April 16 - August 22. Or knives. Or teeth.
*Club members (especially Rachel) get bonus points for no dyeing.

If you need a trim, do it now. Good Luck.

2006-04-04T15:23:00.000-05:00

All right... who's been swearing in their comments? We have a very liberal filter here at Harding University in Florence and it won't let me look at the comments after the quiz because it says the "weighted phrase limit has been exceeded." Keep it PG, kids. This is a family site. I'll read the comments when I get home, but good idea Ashley. I aced it.

2006-03-29T00:29:00.000-06:00

How Well Do YOU know I Eta Pi?

Where was the first real club meeting?

What is the club favorite hymn?

How Tall is the Tallest Club Member?

Which club members are in beatles songs?

What word do we all hate?

Who came up with the name "I Eta Pi"?

What states are we from (and dang proud of it)?

Who are the club dad, mom, slut, hater, and conscience, respectively?

Who are our beaux?

Ideally, who is supposed to procreate the Club Baby?

2006-03-24T22:10:00.000-06:00

Found In the Library This Week:

Found in the scanner this week:

Document of Molly's-- Film Developing Steps.

Scrawled across the top: "Is Sufjan Steven's Cat's Son?"

Scrawled across the bottom: "Saturday- Lunch w/ Jo Jo, Kelly, Wal Mart, Jo Jo, dinner w/ family, concert, dance partay! Sleepover."

I don't know what you meant by "sleepover," dear, but I do know that these notes date from last Valentines Day, and I hope this is referring to that mad upstairs Thanks-a-Latte Till We Have Faces/techno rainboots night we pulled. I could be wrong here, but I feel like that was one of the high points of your Harding career.

Come home soon, we'll have a re-enactment.

2006-03-23T13:29:00.000-06:00

I'm 5 foot 3.25 inches. I think I've grown, but luckily I still fall within the club height span. Today was a really fun day, our day of service. Rachel says it's more like a day of slave labor because it was compulsary and consisted mostly of cleaning the Artemis. My job was to pick up trash on the street and I instigated a "grossest find" contest. I stole the morning glory with a pantyliner, with the only real competition being a used razor found by Ashlee Tappe. The afternoon was a little trickier. I was doing well with an empty tube of Gear Lube and some type of animal bone but Abby ultimately took home the gold medal with the dead rat she found. Some girls have all the luck.
It was a wonderfully sunny day and my skin roasted accordingly. I did have the foresight to wear sunscreen on my face and a four inch square of my left shoulder, so those parts were salvaged. Monte Cox said it looked like a second-degree burn, then a cloud of suspicion passed over his face and he asked what the most severe burn was and edited his prognosis to first degree.
Jenna, that sounds horrible. One day I'll know all about skin ailments and you won't ever have to experience the late night flourescence again. This also goes to all of you who take Jenna to the hospital.

2006-03-22T12:32:00.000-06:00

Since Jenna seems to be remaining mysteriously silent on the subject, let me tell you a story. With no lies in it.
Once, a few nights ago, I was driving home from spring break. It was dark on highway 64, and my tape player was broken. I had listened to the blues from Spring Hill to Centerville (pronounced Sprang Heel and Sinnervul), Classic Rock from Centerville to Jackson, silence from Jackson to Memphis, and as much as I hate to admit it, Country Legends from Memphis to Searcy. After "Understand Your Man" but before "The Devil Went Down to Georgia," my phone chirped. It was Jenna.
"Ashley?"
"Yeah."
"How far away are you?"
"About 45 minutes. What's wrong?"
"Nothing... it's just..."
"Jenna! What's wrong?"
"It's just that I might not be here when you get back."
"JENNA. What's wrong?"
"I think I need to go to the emergency room. I think I might have a blood clot in my leg. And I- I can't get ahold of Luke or anybody to take me-"
"Go to the lobby. I'll call Aunt Lisa."
I called Aunt Lisa and tried, unsuccessfully, not to freak out all the way back. I mean, if I could choose anybody to trust the life of my roommate with, Aunt Lisa would be high on my list. Nevertheless, there I was in the middle of nowhere with nothing but sketchy phone service and faith in the good Lord. And 99.9 the Wolf. I might have gone a little heavy on the gas pedal.

I got there in time to take her home. They gave her blood thinner, which I can only assume is the medical equivalent of turpentine, and told her to come back the next day (Monday) for an ultrasound.
While I was kind of hoping this meant they would call afterwards saying Jenna had the club baby in her leg, in actuality they did not call us at all. We were left in limbo for twelve hours not knowing what was wrong with her. The suspense was making us all a bit crazy, and Monday night Jenna woke me up to take her to the ER again because her heart was racing and her leg was swollen more. It was at this point, after Jenna had climbed into a hospital gown and I was trying to be as optimistic as it is possible to be under a buzzing flourescent light in a cold sterilized room at 1:30 in the morning to a roommate who is under intense pain, that they decided to let us sit in there for an hour while they read the ultrasound. "Well, you're most ERed club member," I pointed out. And really, she was remarkably calm the whole time, even when the male nurse casually prodded a small red dot on the back of her leg and informed her that she had a CARBUNCLE. Oh, yeah, That's gonna make her feel better. Not only is the information completely irrelevent, but, having never before come across a carbuncle, I can't help but replace it with the mental imagery for the next closest word in my vocabulary: "Barnacle." Forget blood clots, dude, get that Barnacle off my roommate's leg!
But whatev. The good news is, Jenna hasn't got a blood clot.
The bad news is, why does her leg still hurt?

The other good news is that while we were there, we stole two surgical gloves and a tongue depresser for you. Lucky girls.

2006-03-21T08:21:00.000-06:00

Second free travel was great! I went to Nice, Monaco, and Barcelona, in that order. In Nice, we were walking to the Matisse Museum one day when Mitch asked me to tell a story.
"Give me a topic," I said.
"Recitals."
"You go first. I don't know if I have any recital stories..."
So he told some story from his musical youth and at the end I said, "Okay, I've got one. I used to have this friend named Kevin, and when we were kids, he was singing with this Christmas choir. He had this mean older brother who was in the recital with him, standing right behind him and pretending to drum on Kevin's head with the candlesticks! The audience was sort of giggling and shifting so Kevin turned around and punched his brother when he saw what was going on. He punched him so hard that his brother went falling of the back of the risers and the audience went into hysterics! It was crazy! And Kevin's mom stood up and screamed at him in front of everyone! Oh man, it was so funny!"
Mitchell was laughing and said, "See! You did have a good recital story! That was awesome!"
"Thanks!" I said. "It's from Home Alone 2!"

Oh, how I laughed. He thinks I'm a liar now, though.

2006-03-19T18:52:00.000-06:00

2006-03-18T22:29:00.000-06:00

Saw Wilco last night. Incredible.

Incredibly incredible.

2006-03-16T15:42:00.000-06:00

If I am going to receive crap emails from people trying to sell me things or infect my computer, I request only that the person who has been making up sender names for these emails be allowed to continue in his or her noble work. In the past month, I have been pleased to find messages from the following people:
Euthymius Bark
Crocifissa Garman
Thorstein Sauer
Luciana Gallien
Heinrike Bunner
Giuseppina Berlin
Andriy Poovey

Israel was very wonderful. Jewish people are really great, minus that one ultra-conservative one we met. This was the kind of woman for whom we covered our hair and wore skirts. Rachel and I had no scarves or anything else suitable for head-coverings so we wore pillowcases from our hotel. At least she smelled awful and old, that woman.
We saw a lot of very Biblical places, both from the Old Testament and New. I expected the whole country to be desert-like, but it was actually really green and beautiful in some places. The Sea of Galilee was especially good-looking.
Hope everyone's Spring Break is kicking. KATSB.

2006-03-15T14:26:00.000-06:00

Best phone call I've ever received.
Let me set the stage: It was a dark, stormy night (really!) & Kalen & I were about half way to OKC Friday night to begin our glorious 5 state Spring Break adventure. We were in the throes of a rousing conversation about hypocrisy when the headlights started to flicker & the gas peddle mysteriously stopped responding. Yes my friends, I ran out of gas 8 miles from the lovely town of Henryetta, Oklahoma. After deciding it probably wasn't the best idea to walk into town, we called my parents to have them look up the number for Highway Patrol. We didn't have anything else to do so we sat around coming up with plans to fight off the bad guys that could potentially stop to "help." I answered the phone about 15 minutes later expecting my poor worried mother with the number, but instead.... [pretend you're hearing my impression of a Southern accent, it's more fun than a real one] "Hi, this is Cathy. Your Mom just called. We're gonna bring you some gas!" My parents had looked up the number of the church in Henryetta & this great elder & his wife brought us gas! Larry & Cathy, you are wonderful people. The rest of our travels have gone smoothly. We breezed all the way through Kansas with only a few paranoid stops for gas and managed to miss all 72 tornados that touched down in Missouri Sunday. I've spent my first day back in Iowa working at the bookstore listening to the soundtrack from a PBS movie. Yes, people really do buy soundtracks from PBS.
This doesn't hold a candle to Molly's Sound of Music Tour, but if you ever need rescued in eastern Oklahoma, I've got connections for you now.

2006-03-14T15:58:00.000-06:00

I’m just about to leave for our second free travel, this time taking on Nice, France, and Barcelona, Spain. This semester is passing by at lightning speed; it’s barely been a week since I got back from my first free travel to the Czech Republic, Germany, and Austria. It’s really been incredible though, and I’m going to miss it so much, especially next semester when I’ll be in Searcy, taking infrequent journeys as far as Little Rock. When are we taking a club trip to Mexico? You know you want to.
First free travel was fantastic. I loved Prague. Everything was so cheap and beautiful. On our first night there, we went into a jazz club near our hostel and there was a band from Seattle playing! Crazy, yeah? Das Vibenbass, they were called. We really loved the show and I bought a very cool t-shirt from them with a skull on it. Nice! After a couple of days exploring Prague, we took a night train to Munich, where it was about to snow more than it had in over fifty years! The city was drenched in snow and didn’t quite know what to do about it. The buses shut down and trains were delayed or cancelled. Everything looked beautiful covered in white though, and we just walked around and went to museums and a movie and ate the greatest German food. Knuckle of pork, anyone? I’m not kidding. It’s awesome. I love German food. And Germans. We had a blast in Munich.
Our last day was spent in Salzburg, Austria. Is it wrong that we ate Chinese food there? I didn’t think so until we got back here and some people were so mad that we didn’t really eat Austrian food. Anyway, we all went a little nuts when the MSG kicked in. It was totally worth it though. We ended our trip with the Sound of Music Tour, a bus ride and walking tour to some of the key places featured in the movie. Possibly the best thing I’ve ever done. The guide, Peter, told bad jokes and flirted with every woman, especially the Chilean beauty wearing a miniskirt seated ahead of us in the first row. Her name was Luce Maria and her favorite word was “Fantastico!” When he first met her, he said, “Your husband and children are waiting for you at home?” She said, “No, I have no children or husband.” “Oh, that’s interesting…” he said. Once I heard him say to her, “I like you because you are so passionate.” This was funny because (A) Peter had the hots for Luce Maria and (B) Peter had accused Luce Maria of falling asleep more than once on the tour. There were also some hardcore fans on the bus. Just in front of me on the bus were two middle aged women from Colorado who were a hoot, but I don’t think they knew it. They occasionally swore and one of them got really excited when she won a free beer for knowing the name of the mountains where Maria sings on at the beginning of the movie. “Don’t forget, you have to give me my beer!” she kept reminding Peter. On this tour, they play songs from the movie on the bus. The women sang along to each and every song enthusiastically, so when my friend Kathryn and I decided to try and be overly enthusiastic about everything on the tour, all we had to do was imitate their every move. Minus winning and gulping down free beer, of course. We sang along at the top of our lungs, which is strongly encouraged. I thought to myself, When will I ever have another chance to so willingly yodel with about two dozen perfect strangers? I’m going for it! We also posed in front of the “Sixteen Going on Seventeen” gazebo just like Leisel does in the movie, arms outstretched and a banshee-style grin spread across our faces, shouting “WEEEEEE!” Classy, right? At the church where Maria marries the Captain, I took a private moment to try and float down the aisle like Maria. I was missing the long train and there were Asian tourists I had to gracefully float around, but it was still thrilling. Mom would have loved it.
I miss you guys. Especially you girls. I have popularized the Marriage game and have at least six pages of it in the back of my journal from just that one week. I can’t wait to get back and play it with you. And we can yodel freely, too.

2006-03-10T22:33:00.000-06:00

Dear all readers-

In case anyone was wondering, I am not good with computers...sorry. What I was trying to do here was to make a post. Due to some complaints regarding the previous MMM choices for all female readers and mothers...here is another set of choices:

Kiefer Southerland
Tom Cruise
Brad Pitt

Enjoy the game!!!!!!

2006-03-07T23:38:00.000-06:00

Things:

How to tell if you're a Hipster (slightly outdated but that only makes it more amusing)

"Some of you younger kids might not remember this, but there was a time in America when people acted stupid for free! It's true, they just gave it away! People acted like utter dopeity dopes and never received a penny in compensation. But then someone figured out that acting stupid could net you a fortune, by, say, pretending like you were honestly and completely unaware that eating fattening foods would cause you to become fat, or claiming that you thought cigarette warnings only applied to other people. Now stupidism accounts for over 13% of America's economy, and this clever exploitation of a previously free resource is exactly the kind of Horatio Alger-esque ingenuity that makes America great." - www.defectiveyeti.com

Punk band gets kid jailed (almost)

Shortened words I've used embarrasingly often this semester:

Obvi
Sketch
Spesh
Presh
Whatev
Ridic
Offish
No prob
Most def

New Music: Feist, Neko Case

I wish you were here.

Or I was there.

2006-03-02T15:25:00.000-06:00

We're going to Israel tomorrow, which is hopefully going to be amazing. I'm emptying my (Molly's) camera off for the occasion so I thought I'd post some of the pictures.

This first one is the statue of Hermes holding the infant Dionysus. Tay, I'm using this side view photo for your benefit. Rachel and I love this particular statue and spent a lot of our time in the museum at Olympia staring at it.
It was only natural, therefore, that when I found a Hermes magnet in an Athens tourist shop on Sunday that I should want to show Rachel. Apparently, though, the shopkeeper saw me pick up the magnet and carry it across the store but DID NOT see me put it back where I found it. So after we all bought a few things, (Greek flags and wristbands, etc.) she showed me the magnet and told me that someone in my company had the same magnet but had not paid for it. A lot of shouting and pointing ensued and I ended up giving her some money and just leaving. Before we got out of the store, though, there were some pointed words from her ugly little mouth about being "VERY VERY BAD!" The words were emphasized with some fist banging on counter and general glowering. She kindof ruined my day.

This next one is a little unclear, but I'm hoping I can portray its beauty. We had to watch an eight hour film on Masada, one of the places we'll see in Israel (it was highly recommended, anyway). It was a long and arduous process, but one that gave me a great deal of respect for Peter O'Toole in his role as General Cornelius Flavius Silva. It wasn't that he was a particularly good actor, because that wasn't very true. It was more that...he's the skinnest person I've ever seen. I had no idea Romans and Jews were so ridiculously thin, but it almost made the movie worth watching. It is of great interest to me to note that the certain Jew was, by the end of last night's dream, actually Flavius Silva showing off a castle that he owned.

This is my double chocolate dream ice cream and the Corinthian Canal.

This is an old man reading his paper. I took this through our bus window, because that's the only way I ever see anything in this country.

Finally, this is the Olympic Stadium. It was incredible.

I'd write more but it's 11:57 and last night it's rumored that those who were out past curfew (and by out I mean downstairs) got in some kind of huge trouble. There was a girl who was taking down her laundry just a few minutes late and Mr. Myhan leapt out from a corner and ripped her arm off with his teeth. We've started calling him poop-can Myhan, FYI.

2006-03-02T09:27:00.000-06:00

I'm sorry to make two posts in a row, but I thought of these things to share......

#1) Jo Jo and I collaborated and decided that these are our Goddess identities:

Taylor: Hygieia, goddess of health (our word for "hygiene" is derived from her name...)

Jenna: Hestia, goddess of hearth and home

Molly: Athena, goddess of wisdom

Ashley: Nike, goddess of victory

Jo Jo: Aphrodite, goddess of love and beauty

Me: Artemis, goddess of hunting

#2) Last night I had YET ANOTHER somewhat romantic dream about a certain Jewish boy.

2006-03-02T03:53:00.000-06:00

Have I told you all lately that I love you? Because I do. It was high time for a new post, so this is a bunch of assorted information/questions.

Good news! I ordered the OCMS Eutaw CD, and it's being sent to my house. I want it to be waiting for me upon my return. We can have some square-dance parties to it if you guys want.

I feel like running more 5Ks. Thoughts? Comments? And Ashley, how do you feel about roller-blading and riding bikes all summer long?

Check out this cool picture of our group in front of the Parthenon. Pay special attention to the two identical-ish and ticked ladies in black.

2006-02-27T15:13:00.000-06:00

Divine Revelations Courtesy of Downtown's Sunday Financial Update Service:

Texas: The state that thinks it's a country.
Canada: The country that thinks it's a state.

2006-02-25T15:17:00.000-06:00

Have you heard? The Greeks have had cell phones for thousands of years, and I took the photo that proves it all:

Anyway, there's only one thing he could be talking about, and that's the latest Pipeline Headline:

China Busts Baby Trafficking Ring

2006-02-24T17:12:00.000-06:00

Why Am I Taking Christian Home?

Today, Dr. Brumfield had a brilliant idea.
"I want you to think of people with these qualities:

Women who want to be housewives.
Men who want to play sports for the rest of their lives.
Women who want more than 3 children.
Men who want to be leaders in the church.
Couples who have been together for a long time and would like to go to a marriage seminar.

Then I'm going to pass around papers with these titles on it, and I want everyone to write down names of people you know who fit that characteristic. Now, if you see someone's name on that list as it's going around, and you know they aren't like that, just politely cross their name off."
Is this Dr. Brumfield's way of making sure no one leaves his class single?
Kinda sketch. I wonder if we were supposed to include the person's phone number..

Luke and I came up with our own lists:

Men with meat for brains.
Men with square jaws.
Men who only talk to dinosaurs.
Men who are necromancers.
Men who eat aluminum cans.
Woman who live in wigwams.
Men with long eyelashes.
People no one wants to marry.
Men who are dead.
Women who are really men.
Women who are really trees.
Men who have short arms.
Women who are Harriet Tubman.
Men who are Sean Connery.

Help us hook people up.

2006-02-23T12:41:00.000-06:00

Tuesday night I helped stuff Jo Jo in her backpack. Man, we crazy!

2006-02-20T17:29:00.000-06:00

Marry, Makeout, or Meatlocker?
the question on all of our minds...

For Rachel: Apollo, Hephaestus, or Monte Cox?

For Molly: Lorenzo Di Medici, Michelangelo, or Dante?

For Jo Jo: Paul Mcartney, Paul the apostle, or Paul McMullen?

For Jenna: Abraham Lincoln, Wild Bill Hickok, or U. S. Grant?

For Taylor: Jack Bauer, David Palmer, or Tony Almeida?

For Johnna: Creepy Library Guy, Nice Old Library Guy, or Mr. Terril?

For random female readers and mothers: Osama Bin Laden, Hitler, or Genghis Khan?

For random male readers and beaus: Joni Mitchell, Harriet Tubman*, or Sandra Day O'Connor?

It's easy. You marry one, make out with one, and put one in a meatlocker for a while.
We used to shag them and shove them off cliffs, but it offended the sensibilities of Taylor, our club conscience and faithful vote counter. And we couldn't afford that.

*The heroine of the Underground Railroad, not the farm's deceased pet tarantuala. Obvi.

Have at thee!

2006-02-16T09:24:00.000-06:00

Thanks for the package, guys! I took a few shots while we were opening it. There was one with Rachel and Susanna but they weren't as ugly. I'm going to post these on the condition that no one be allowed to accuse me of being vain. Ever.

I took a new favorite picture of Susanna today while we were exploring the Artemis.

Yea, that detective is currently gracing our living room with his presence.

Dr. Hopper is here and has already taken action showing everyone the Jon Stewart clip mocking the "Vice President shoots 78 year old man in face" situation.
http://www.crooksandliars.com/2006/02/13.html#a7149

2006-02-14T16:24:00.000-06:00

locket functions, here we come!
(happy valentines, girls.)

2006-02-13T09:59:00.000-06:00

We just got in from Eygpt this morning and it was incredible.
We were gone for eleven days and they were mostly insanely busy. Saturday we saw the pyramids, the Sphinx, the solar boat museum, Memphis, and Sakkara aka THE LAND OF THE DEAD. The group almost left Ross at Sakkara; he had to chase after the bus for quite some time. This was intentional.
The pyramids were expectedly cool. Osmond, our Eyptian guide and the most lovable man on earth, gave us the option of going inside one of the pyramids. I won't lie, there wasn't much inside there. You had to duck down and shuffle down a passageway for several hundred yards and then climb up a similar passageway. The air inside was stale and stifflingly hot but it was so exciting just to be inside a pyramid. Andrew Fraser briefly laid inside the tomb.

We visited the Valley of the Kings and Valley of the workers. They were both great, but the really fantastic thing about these places involved this kid Will:

He doesn't always dress like Jesus.
So we were listening to Osmond talking about tombs and mummies, etc. when I see Will making somewhat of a scene with some of the guards. I start paying attention to them and notice Will looking particularly disgusted. He's saying he "just found it under the ground" and the men seem to think that's normal and shuffle some dirt and rocks over the place he points to. I'm completely intrigued and start asking what's going on. Will tells me that he actually UNEARTHED A MUMMY by accident. The way he explains it, he saw a little bit of cloth in the dirt and pulled at it. He then proceded to find a BONE! What he presumes to be an arm bone, in fact. Apparently, the guards knew about it already. They say there are mummies everywhere in the area. We got back on the tour bus and the sight of Will asking around for some antibacterial gel threw me into a small fit of hysterics.

Other exciting things about Eypgt:
3 day Nile Cruise
Camel Ride
tons of massive ancient temples in varying degrees of hugeness and preservation
hiking a 4,000 foot mountain to watch the sunrise over Mt. Sinai
Stopping to dip our feet in the Red Sea
Falling into the Red Sea with Rachel and thus standing (not sitting) on the bus for the next several hours
papyrus shop, perfume shop
This fat British 16 year old kid on the cruise with us named Dudley
(okay, so Rachel named him that)
(this kid was especially interesting in that he was able to give the appearance of wearing his pants around his navel yet--without fail--show his butt crack when sitting. Also, he was completely uninterested in being on an intimate cruise with 25 American college girls.)
touring a mosque and watching a prayer service

Anyway, I'm planning on emailing everyone soon, but for now just know that we're back safely and that it was awesome.

p.s. Thanks for birthday messages! I celebrated the day nicely with a few nice Eygptian tours and the beginning of our Nile Cruise. That was enough for me, but when we were at dinner the lights went out and all of the waiters came out with drums singing loudly in Arabic. Luckily, it was Lauren Greek's birthday too. I felt a little like we were about to be sacrificed. However, they only made us dance and stand in front of everyone for their song that I thought would never end. It did, but only to make time for the singing of the birthday song. In English, then in Arabic. They also gave us a nice cake (coconut, Molly!).
p.p.s. We crossed the Suez canal to come back into Cairo on the 11th. Since the canal separates Asia and Africa, and now we're back in Europe, we've def. been in 3 continents in 2 days. Tell all your friends.

2006-02-07T17:48:00.000-06:00

Notes From the Harding University Talent Show, 1/4/06

-Host Tells Interrupting Starfish Joke: It Mattered to That One.

-Act 1: Jesse Carr, Ben Simpson, and Will Medders, collectively known as rock band I am Switzerland, play “Lucy my Gal.” Unidentified idiotic audience member mumbles, “They don’t look Swiss.”

-Act 2: White Rapping Bible Major totally goes to poetry club with me. Only distinguishable line: “I ain’t got no fro.” No, no, you ain’t.

-Act 3: Aaron “Giles” Brown talks “Hold to God’s Unchanging Hand,” to the tune of Jairus’ mean beat boxing. Crowd goes wild.

-Act 6: Johnna's favorite part of the talent show was this act, mostly because the sound boy, crouching Gollum-esque behind the amp, kept popping up like some indie jack-in-the-box to twist buttons just when we were least expecting it.

-Act 7? 8?: Electric drum set, okay. Electric drum set sitting atop the box it came in? General consensus says foolish. Also foolish: writing a song about Valentine’s Day for the school talent show. But I bet Rachel thinks it’s coolish.

-Act 9: Sandra Bullock with Red Hair has Killer Voice.

-Act 10: This guy was very nice to me in the library tonight. Very nice.
Pros: Good voice, earring (could go either way, really), nice manners, double major.
Cons: Sketchy guitarist, thoroughly gelled hair, one of the majors is bible.

-Act 11: S.P.I.C.E. girls. You know, Spiritually Passionate Incredibly Christian Examples. Two words: amazing. I’ve gotten to the point where I’ll shamelessly adore anyone who makes fun of Harding on the Benson stage, and these girls did so with hilarity and great flair. Not to mention making fun of facebook.

-Act 13: Danny again. “The Concept Band” = kind of clever…

-Act 14: Johnny Cash impersonators almost steal the show. No one can tell whether they’re serious or not, but it’s great either way.

-Act 15: Boy quotes Napoleon Dynamite on stage. And I can never hear that “I’ll be your cryin’ shoulder…” song without feeling like I’m at a graduation slideshow.

-Act 16: Dusty Hanes. I don’t know about the musical note guitar strap, but you can never go wrong with jazz piano, and the drummer isn’t half bad neither. Possibly the best act of the night, if I weren’t a little biased toward the farm boys. Do these guys really go to Harding?

-Act 17: A capella version of O-bla-di, O-bla-da. Lead singer does a pretty good job of covering up the fact that he’s saying the word “bra” in front of most of the student body. Not bad, but the Beatles are better.

-Act 18: Jazz pianist returns for solo act. I wish this guy were in love with me or something. He’s Amazing.

-Act 20: Elton John impersonator =sketchy. I bet he bought that fur coat at goodwill this morning.

-Act 21: I’m not very partial to Martina McBride, but dis girl’s got lungs!

-Something smells like dirty cat litter.

-Act 23: Another white rapper? Senior advice with guitar, Mraz-style. Innovative.

-Act 24: Harding Talent Show Band. Hey, boy from recorder class! And chili lunch boy! Cousin’s ex-roomate! Boy who told me I had a nice smile! They’re throwing candy! The altie kids are going wild! Sandwich boy! Canasian! Dis. Boy! Chuck Taylors everywhere!

-Act 25: I’ll always have a special place in my heart for barbershop quartets.

Don’t worry guys, no i-pod controversies this year.

And where have all the breakdancers gone?

Miss you guys.

2006-02-06T16:37:00.000-06:00

Hey! Katie Couric and the Today Show crew will be broadcasting live from Florence tomorrow, so if you get the chance, watch that on Tuesday morning and keep an eye out for me and a bunch of other HUF kids who are going to attempt to get on TV! If nothing else, we definitely have an enormous banner!

2006-02-04T00:00:00.000-06:00

2006-02-02T14:22:00.000-06:00

I've been in Italy almost two weeks now and it feels like months! We have already seen so many amazing things and been to so many beautiful places... I am so glad I came here! The view from the villa is spectacular and I'm so glad I signed up for conditioning because I get to run along these gorgeous Tuscan roads around here. Sorry this is the first time I've written since I got here, I know you think I've been slacking. I've just been waiting for a good chunk of time to really sit down and write something good. I'm not exaggerating though; I have virtually no free time. When I'm not touring the countrysides or gallavanting around Florence sampling various shop's coconut gelato and wishing I had a pair of these classy flat boots all the girls wear over their jeans, I am either in classes or eating superb pastas and such. Even now is not that perfect chunk of time. I'm so worn out! I'm either just outrageously sore from running yesterday and walking all day today and Monday, or I'm getting the flu. Please pray that it's just the former. Tomorrow I'm going to try and put another batch of pictures on my photo site and hopefully write a real entry on here sometime soon. With pictures.
Jo Jo, those pictures are great! Is that my old camera? I'm so glad it's working out for you, Pro! Taylor, I love you. There is a cat here named Zeus who is a beast! Very fat and lazy and friendly, and everyone has started calling him Fat Louie, which just seems to fit him better. Anyway, I think of your dog everytime I see him sprawled out on table tops or in the middle of the tile floor. Just because they have the same name, not because we tape his paws or anything... You're in my prayers. Jenna, you already know pretty much what's going on, I'm liking e-mailing you and wish I could do it everyday. Ashley! Hello, Dear! You are the only one I think I've not heard from since I came here! I miss you, and I have a picture of you with a dark blue tongue on my computer background. Rachel, thank you for being on Facebook. It makes my life just that much happier. Everyone else, I love it when you leave comments on our blog. I Eta Pi 4 Eva!

2006-02-02T12:46:00.000-06:00

Hey everybody, we're leaving for Eygpt in the morning and will probably not have internet access while we're there. I just wanted to show you what we've been up to lately:

Some stenciling:

A little temple of Zeus action: (see tiny Rachel compared to monstrous temple)

Making friends:

And this dog wasn't that crucial in our experiences over the last week, but I thought he was noteworthy. You might notice that he's eating a waterbottle. I'll add to that observation the knowledge that his chewing was so loud that I couldn't hear our tour guide.

Oh, Athenian dogs.

2006-01-28T14:27:00.000-06:00

Dear Molly,
You have taken so many beautiful pictures!
My Italian phrase for the day:
Sono molto allergico alle noccioline.
I'm highly allergic to peanuts.
Love, Jenna

Dear Everyone,
LOOK AT THEM. This is the correct address..I fixed it.
http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/mollybethmorris/my_photos

2006-01-25T16:55:00.000-06:00

Purple? TEDDY BEARS?

you dirty little thief.

2006-01-25T07:08:00.000-06:00

We conquered the snowy mountain.

2006-01-25T00:34:00.000-06:00

I was typing out my notes for Christian home (because it's required. I'm not doing it so I can remember to not have sex on the first date) and I came across something I had written in class. We were talking about what abuse does to children and how it affects their thinking. For example, some kids may feel ashamed, or, as I put, as my brain wandered further away from my body...

"I'm be bad child."

2006-01-24T02:46:00.000-06:00

It's definitely snowing.

I don't know if you can tell in the picture, but it's coming down at a tremendous rate. It's too wet for it to stick down here, but it's allegedly on the ground everywhere but Porto Rafti. You can see it on the mountain.
It will probably delay our trip to Athens scheduled for Wednesday, but at least we got to go on Sunday.
We left around 9:15 to see the changing of the guard ceremony at the Parliment but, due to inclement weather, we just saw the tyical hourly change without the brass band, etc. It was still exciting, though, especially when tourists got too close and the soldier stamped his rifle on the ground, a signal for the free-moving guard to come chase them off. After that we walked down towards the Plaka. We did some shopping around and then broke up for lunch. Most of the group went for the typical Greek fastfood, the infamous Gyro. Greasy meat and mayonaise wasn't really what either Rachel or I wanted, so we went exploring for something better. Our proudest moment came when a man approached us speaking in Greek. When we looked at him blankly, he said "Oh, you are foreigners. I was going to ask you where a museum is." This, of course, implies that Rachel and I have assimilated ourselves into the Greek culture SO well that we're already being mistaken for Europeans.
Finally, after a wrong turn or so, we happened upon a little restaurant on a quiet street. It was full of Greek people and tables and Greek chatter. Moreover, their menu was translated into English. We got a salad and one of the best moments of my Greek life thus far was when they brought it out and it had a BLOCK of feta cheese on top.

I didn't manage to get a digital picture of Mars Hill but you KNOW I photographed that salad.

After lunch, we did some more shopping and met the group at Starbucks. We walked as a group to the old agora marketplace and the temple of H someone. The god of metal working. It was very cool and old, etc.

Also in Athens, Rachel bought a pair of sandals from the Poet. All that's really important about this man is that The Beatles bought sandals from him.

Anyway, that is what's happening here. Has anyone heard from Molly?

2006-01-23T15:10:00.000-06:00

Guys, I have a confession to make.

I feel dirty all over. And not the usual Ashley-hasn't-showered-in-two-days kind of dirty, either. Dirty like Tainted.

We have a group project due in my Special Education class ("SpEd") tomorrow. Our group had to teach the principles of IDEA, the major SpEd national education standards, to the class by catering to different types of learning. The projects had to include a powerpoint, a skit, a handout, a quiz, and-- this is the clincher-- a Rap or Poem.

Of course, I got stuck with the poem.

As usual, I put it off as long as possible. In chapel this morning I finally broke down and scribbled it quickly in the margin of my textbook without thinking about it, like ripping off a bandaid. I didn't look at it again until lunch, when I met the group.

It was awful. Jojo, remember when you made the who-cleans-the-bathroom-when schedule for our suite in glitter puff paint and wrote the note on it that said, "This is the cheesiest thing I have ever created but that's ok, because I killed a bug in the sink this morning"?
You've got Nothing on this. I wrote Exactly what my teacher wanted to hear. No contest. I really think most disabled people who read it would involuntarily vomit on the spot.

Although it would be hard to pick out a worst point of this sad story, one of the high ones was when I realized that my group Liked it. They ate it up. One girl even used the word "good." I told her she could read it out loud to the class, cause I sure as heck wasn't going to.
The only girl who showed any sign of understanding my interior agony gently described my creation as "Kind of a cross between that country song, 'Don't Laugh at Me' and the Space Jam song 'I Believe I Can Fly.'"

Oh yes. It was That bad.

So I'm here to apologize-- to you, who I have led to believe that I am a decent person, and to God, and most of all, to disabled people everywhere.

Maybe I should change my major.

2006-01-21T01:59:00.000-06:00

This morning as Jo and I went for our run/walk, the whole town smelled of coconut. Molly, you only wish Florence could smell that good. Oh, and Jenna, I'm so glad to know that all you can remember me by is my apparent "butt girl" identity.

2006-01-19T11:05:00.000-06:00

Well, we're here. Some of the well behaved students ran off as soon as we got here to email or even call their relatives but I was too busy thinking about how my fangs were rotting out of my face as a result of not being brushed for too long. Luckily, I remembered my toothbrush and toothpaste and rectified the situation.
We then proceeded to have a long group discussion about life here at the Hotel Artemis, a discussion none of us will remember as a result of being very tired.
There have been some definite good things about this trip so far:
1. I think I found Sondre Lerche. Maybe not him, exactly, but someone who was on our plane to Amsterdam and carried a guitar. He wore a shirt that said Calculus and had sleeve tattoos.
This is a picture I tried to take of him as we went through security. I think.

2. The Hotel where we're staying is very nice. Very kitchsy, or whatever it's called. By this I mean there's the nice marble floors, the spacious living areas, and some inexplicably horrible (wonderful!) decorations. Thus far I've noted: a giant disco ball in the foyer, some layered mirrors and silver and gold assortments (I'll try to get a picture of these) and the occasional wood paneling.
3. We saw the Alps as we flew from Amsterdam to Athens. They were absolutely beautiful.
The picture doesn't do them justice, mostly because it was through a plane window.
4. Tonight before dinner I mentioned to Rachel that I was going to change my shirt because I had been wearing it for what felt like days. Rachel said she was going to too, which was a little bit relieving. Rachel has been wearing that (lovely) grey shirt since Sunday and has now traveled at least 5,000 miles in it. But after looking through her clothes, she had this conversation with herself:
"What was I thinking? Where are all my shirts? Hmmm..... this is awkward."
She then decided she "might as well" keep the grey one on.
5. Do you see how good looking we are?

Oh, and this wasn't particularly good, but I had a long talk tonight with someone about being a vegetarian. It ended when he said "Well, I think that you must be a liberal!" I kind of laughed awkwardly and left the table.

2006-01-18T21:16:00.000-06:00

Here's hoping your story is a delightful comedia.

2006-01-18T09:42:00.000-06:00

Here we go! Wish us luck. It's been nice knowing you.

Love,
Jo Jo and Rachel

2006-01-16T22:51:00.000-06:00

Guess who finally finished loading everything onto her iPod! I'm disappointed to report that I just found out that I DO have the Gilmore Girls theme song on CD! It was hidded in the middle of an undecorated, burned CD titled "Movie Day Dec 22 2002." I'm very sorry. I think this solidifies the need for an I Eta Pi Club Mix, Vol. 2. I'll be glad to do it again next fall, AND decorate it boldly! Does anyone else have a passion for Sharpies? Jenna? Between us, I think we are a Permanent Marker Powerhouse. Anyway, start keeping a record of appropriate (or mildly inappropriate) songs for another club mix. But don't let it stop you from listening to the current, vibrantly decorated one.

You know, we didn't watch Gilmore Girls at that Movie Day, I'm almost positive. I'm sorry I didn't find this before.
We will watch Gilmore Girls tomorrow night though..!

2006-01-14T19:49:00.000-06:00

Quote from Jenna's Human Situations II textbook: "Norbert Wiener warned about lack of modesty when he remarked that if digital computers had been in common use before the atomic bomb was invented, people would have said that the bomb could not have been invented without computers."